November 24, 1999
More adults are single,
but fewer singles are in church
___By Sarah Zimmerman
___Associated Baptist Press
___ATLANTA (ABP)--Strike one: they're young.
___Strike two: they're single.
___Strike three: they're college-educated.
___Three strikes and today's young professionals are out--out of church, that is.
___Research by pollster George Barna indicates the young, single and well-educated are the adults least likely to attend church.
___Who can blame them? Churches cater to couples starting families, because that's when many young adults return to church. Many people, however, are putting off marriage until well into their 30s, if they marry at all.
___More couples also are postponing childbearing or choosing to be childless. As a result, churches waiting for the stork's visit to begin ministering to young adults are less apt to connect with 20-somethings.
___Stereotypes are another hindrance. Some churches view single adults as lonely people needing a life. They create ministries for misfits and consequently attract a disproportionate number of personality-challenged people who perpetuate the negative stereotype.
___Churches often perpetuate stereotypes from television, which present single adults as either sex-crazed party animals or the weird neighbor next door, says Alan Corry, single-adult ministry specialist for Lifeway Christian Resources in Nashville, Tenn.
___Even the innocuous Andy Griffith Show cast single-adult characters in a negative light. Andy had been married and was widowed, so though single, he was fairly normal. But consider Barney and Goober. Who wants to grow up to be like them?
___Meanwhile, more and more Americans are opting for a single lifestyle. Today, 43.6 percent of American adults are unmarried, up from 35.7 percent in 1970, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Yet the single-adult population in most churches has not changed in those 30 years.
___Many single adults who are establishing their careers and enjoying their independence would rather read the Sunday newspaper at home than attend a church they think values only families. And they would much rather sleep in than get up early for a Bible class that resembles a special-needs group more than an adult discussion.
___Tiffany Schmieder of Atlanta turned to the church initially to meet people with similar values when she graduated from college and moved to Atlanta. But church is not simply a social connection for her. She's committed enough to her spiritual growth that she gets up at 5 a.m. on Thursdays to be part of a women's Bible study.
___Yet Schmieder, 24, isn't surprised to hear Barna's research indicating most of her peers are unchurched. "They're not thinking about their own mortality," she says.
___Priority Associates, a Campus Crusade program focusing on young professionals, has ministries stretching from New York City to Austin, with the goal of presenting Christ and developing spiritual leaders in the marketplace.
___Business people spend most of their waking hours at work or with work-related activities, leaders acknowledge, but many professionals desire more than career success. Priority Associates offers life-skill seminars on subjects such as establishing balance in life, staying focused and finding direction for living.
___While many people find such guidance at churches, young single adults are more likely to look elsewhere, experts say.
___One obstacle is that many view their parents' religion as ineffective, Corry says. They see Christian parents divorcing at the same rate as non-Christians. They've watched their parents work long hours to provide children with material possessions but flunk on emotional provision.
___Meanwhile, as upwardly mobile adults, they are moving from an egocentric stage of life to a search for something meaningful. But many are finding it in places other than the institutional church.
___Hands on Atlanta is one such place. The 10-year-old organization recruits and places volunteers in area agencies and projects. It has a mailing list of 20,000 families and singles, most between the ages of 20 and 45. Each receives a monthly calendar describing current volunteer projects. The group is not faith-based, but many volunteers are religious about their involvement.
___"They're mostly young professionals who are really busy, but they really do want to contribute to their community," says Terri Heyns, recruitment supervisor. "They don't want their time wasted. They feel their volunteering matters."
___Like Schmieder, who turned to church to find friends with similar values, many single adults participate in Hands on Atlanta to meet people who share their volunteer spirit, Heyns says.
___A few churches are tapping into that desire to make a difference by incorporating mission opportunities into their single-adult programs.
___"Young adults are suspicious of church. They see it as a cloistered environment that only looks at itself, and they don't want to be part of that," says Mace Hall, single-adult minister at Peachtree Road United Methodist Church in Atlanta.
___More than half of the 1,500 people who worship at Hall's church are singles age 25-35. At least 300 single adults are involved in the church ministries.
___The church follows the Hands on Atlanta philosophy with a Christian spin. "We're not a dating service or just a place for social interaction," Hall says. "Our strength is rooted in ministering to the congregation, community and the world. We are to be Christ in and for this world."
___Every year, the church's singles build a Habitat for Humanity home. And 250 single members participate in an annual one-day community service marathon. They coordinate volleyball tournaments to raise money for a children's hospital and charge a $10 admission to their Halloween party to donate to a local food pantry.
___Including single adults on committees and in leadership positions helps them feel included in the congregation, but they'll run screaming in the opposite direction if the group is only a rubber-stamping body or if their input is not taken seriously.
___Janet Gresham, 38, of Edmond, Okla., remembers volunteering to teach youth in Sunday school when she was in her late 20s. The church leadership hesitated, telling her they really wanted a couple because so many students came from divorced families and needed a positive role model. Gresham was allowed to teach, but only because the church couldn't find a couple to take the job.
___Now she wishes she had told the church leaders that maybe the youth needed a role model of a happy single so they wouldn't be in a such a rush to get married and perhaps make some of their parents' mistakes.
___Gresham grew up attending church with her family, so church was also where she turned after college to "meet and socialize with people. I was turned off by the bar scene."
___When she moved to a different state and left that circle of friends, however, she dropped out of church for four years. "It was too easy to just sleep in." Now she's involved in First Presbyterian Church of Edmond. Though the church doesn't have a single-adult ministry, she enjoys her involvement on the mission committee--and she teaches an adult Sunday School class.
___Churches can capitalize on single adults' desire to be part of a healthy community by offering study courses in relationships, both in platonic friendships and dating relations, says Albert Hsu, author of "Singles at the Crossroads."
___"Many of today's young single adults lacked good role models for relationships due to brokenness and dysfunction in our families of origin," Hsu writes. "We have insecurities; we have trouble being vulnerable. We are shy. Relational skills, like everything else in life, require training."
___Last April and May, six churches in North Atlanta sponsored an eight-week series on relationships. The congregations enlisted a Christian comedian to lead the series and secured a sports bar as the host facility. The setting drew people who would not darken the door of a church. The event was advertised as being sponsored by a coalition of churches, so there was no hidden agenda. Admission was a $5 cover charge, which gave it more perceived value than a free event.
___By the end of the series, 500 people had participated, including 120 who checked a box on a survey to say they would like to know how to have a personal relationship with God.
___"It's still amazing to me that people would come to a sports bar, pay $3 to $5 to park and $5 to eat, then come in and sit down so we could tell them Jesus loves them," says Linda Pirkle, minister of education and single adults at Wieuca Road Baptist Church, one of the sponsoring congregations.
___"People are looking for something that is very real, and that's what Jesus offers."
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