November 3, 1999

FAMILY MATTERS:
You can help your child overcome fear
___Our daughter's fear of things has become a concern for us. She doesn't want to go places, including school and church. She doesn't want to be out of our sight. I am concerned because she is becoming isolated from other children her age. How can we help her overcome this fear and anxiety?

KAY TOWERS Program Coordinator LifeWay Fellowship Killeen

___There are several questions to consider. How long has this been going on? Were there changes that could have triggered her reaction?
___Fear can become paralyzing. Fear causes us not to be able to function and experience the joys of life that God desires for us. The Bible teaches us we should not be afraid (Isaiah 43:1). It tells us God is here to help us (Isaiah 41:13).
___As you try you discover what is causing your child's fear, you might talk with the school counselor, Sunday School teacher or your minister. Some areas to consider are:
___ Self-esteem. Does she have the confidence she's OK? Is she affirmed for what she does? Does she feel the approval of parents and teachers is unobtainable for her?
___Ask her how she feels about herself. Allow her to explain why she feels the way she does.
___Remind her God created her and made her special. Share Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
___ Change. Have any deaths or serious illnesses occurred in the family or close relationships? Changes such as a move or a change in church or school can cause uncertainty in children. If so, allow her to express her feelings.
___Isaiah 41:10 reminds us we are not to be fearful. The Lord is with us. It says he will strengthen us and help us.
___ Role models. Are the adults in her life exhibiting anxiety, over-protectiveness or insecurity? Children pick up on adults' behavior.
___ Media. Often children become alarmed by the information they get from the media. With the coverage on TV and radio regarding school and church shootings, it's very possible this is on her mind.
___In John 14:27, Jesus said, "I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives, so don't be troubled or afraid."
___If fears persist, professional counseling should be considered. Pray for your child as well as with her.
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