March 10, 1999
FAMILY MATTERS:
Let God walk with you as you grieve
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I've been a cheerleader since the seventh grade, and I just found out I didn't make the squad for my senior year! I think I'm going to die!
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DEBBIE CHISOLM
Minister to Students
First Baptist Church
Duncanville
I am so very sorry. When you lose something that's important to you, whether it's a beloved pet, someone you love or being a cheerleader, the grief is powerful. It does feel like you're going to die.
___The next few weeks of school will be difficult, and probably the first few weeks of the new year will be also. But God can take what seems to be terrible and turn it into something beautiful. He doesn't take away the pain or the grief, but he walks through each stage with you, and along the way, he transforms sorrow into joy.
___One of the first things that happens when a loss plunges you into grief is that you enter into a state of shock. You can't believe you didn't make cheerleader. It's a normal first reaction. If it goes on for weeks, you need to talk to an adult-- someone who can give you counsel and support. During this period of disbelief, you might even try to make deals with God. "God, if you'll just let me be a cheerleader, I promise I'll ..."
___Once you begin to accept that this really is happening and there isn't anything you can do to change it, you'll begin to feel several strong emotions. One minute you'll be so angry that you'll want to hit something, and the next minute you'll be so sad that you won't be able to stop crying. These emotions are healthy. They help to move what's on the inside to the outside. Don't try and pretend that you're not feeling these emotions. Again, if the days turn into weeks and you're still not feeling better, please find an adult counselor, and don't try facing it alone.
___Another thing that often happens is that we feel guilty. You may start blaming yourself and thinking that if you had done a better job, or if you had been prettier, or if ... When we try to understand why something is happening, we want to put blame on someone.
___Unfortunately, we often put that blame on ourselves. But slowly, we begin to accept that what happened wasn't our fault, and gradually hope returns and healing begins.
___So, be honest with yourself, and don't listen to the lies of guilt. Be honest with God, he's strong enough to take your anger and gentle enough to share your sorrow. Remember, cheerleading is something you do,but it's not who you are!Frontpage / Contents/ Masthead / Why We're Here / Links / Archive / E-mail us/ SUBSCRIBE!
