March 3, 1999
DOWN HOME:
Who needs directions when rushing will do?
___Reality therapy provides one of the best forms of marriage enrichment.
___No, I don't mean going somewhere and paying somebody a gazillion dollars an hour to tell you that you need to express your feelings with words and not slammed doors. But that's good, sometimes.
___What I'm talking about is just a little bit of honest comparison. Like finding out if other folks dothe same goofy things you do.
MARV KNOX
Editor
___Joanna and I attended a couple-oriented party, and I conducted an unscientific survey that confirmed a fact long suspected by anthropologists and other close observers of human nature: When people get lost, women are "much more likely" to stop and ask directions than men.
___This survey came via a real-life case study: A couple on their way to the party got lost. Guess who decided to call the hosts and ask directions.
___She did, of course.
___Women within earshot of this report confirmed they, not their husbands, are the ones who will stop for directions when the family loses its way on an outing. Men, the women surmise, are too proud, hard-headed or dumb to ask for help along the way.
___I resemble that remark.
___Ours is a happy marriage. Nevertheless, we've had our share of short-term marital-vehicular discord when we got lost and I wouldn't stop for directions. After almost 20 years, I'm catching on. Well, sometimes.
___When we really get lost, some seldom-used chromosome kicks in, and I do the manly thing: Drive faster.
___Lost guys don't have the foggiest notion where we're going, of course, but we get nowhere much quicker than if we just moseyed down the road at a slow, law-abiding lost pace. I was comforted to learn from the wives in our group that my behavior closely approximates the reactions of their male spouses.
___Sigmund Freud would have a field day with all that. He'd say resistance to seeking help represents rebellion against authority, namely Dad. And speeding up reflects an inner desire to seek security, specifically Mom. (Or is it the other way around? I never could keep that stuff straight.)
___The male tendency to speed up clearly is an act of seeking help. If you go fast enough, a nice state trooper will stop you and give you directions. Calling is cheaper, but getting stopped by the law creates family history, which is valuable.
___Unfortunately, many of us "drive" through life like a lost male motorist. We rev our engines and speed off down the nearest path, no matter where it leads. And what we really need to do is slow down, ask directions from the Lord, and chart our path toward home.
___Frontpage / Contents/ Masthead / Why We're Here / Links / Archive / E-mail us/ SUBSCRIBE!