April 14, 1999
FAMILY MATTERS:
Teenagers' maturity must be tested
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DEBBIE CHISOLM
Minister to Youth
First Baptist Church
Duncanville
My son is 17 and wants us to do away with his curfew. Most of his friends don't have a curfew. How do we know when he's mature enough to make that decision for himself?
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There are so many different ways that people and cultures determine "the age" of maturity. Some people believe it's a specific age. When they reach 18 or 21, then all of a sudden they're mature! Others believe it's when you obtain a certain level of education, pay your own bills, marry, have children or some other "event" that communicates to the world, "I am now mature!"
___Unfortunately, age often has very little to do with maturity. There are some 12-year-olds who are more mature than some 40-year-olds. As parents, we may have a difficult time measuring the maturity of our children, because each child is different. They mature in different ways and at different rates. Even the accomplishment of certain goals doesn't ensure a person's maturity. Obtaining a degree or securing a job does not guarantee that a person has become mature.
___Last week I had the privilege of taking a student to sit through a seminary class (Jack MacGorman's) and was blessed with a discussion on the first 12 verses of Galatians 4. I wish your 17-year-old son could have joined us!
___Galatians is a book about freedom, and that's exactly what your son is wanting. But it's also a book about maturity. How do you know when your son is mature enough to ...?
___We know a person is mature when she or he can handle freedom responsibly. Until we enjoy the emancipation that accompanies maturity, we are subject to the rules, boundaries, laws and curfews of childhood, with no say in the regulations that control us.
___Now comes the difficult part. In order to discover if your son is mature enough to handle a life without curfews or any of a number of freedoms that come with "growing up," you have to allow him to experiment with increasing degrees of freedom.
___This can be a frightening experience for parents. We feel a certain sense of security by remaining in control. But that will not allow our children to grow toward maturity, and isn't that our ultimate goal as parents? As long as we force people to live under the law, then we create an environment that never allows them to grow up, become mature and enjoy the benefits of a life of freedom.
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