April 7, 1999

DOWN HOME:
Showers of blessings:
Thank God for plumbers
___"Daddy, Mama said to come into the kitchen," Molly told me the other Friday night. "And hurry!"
___"What a nice trick," I immediately thought. "That Joanna has baked me a Friday Night Special Pie, and she's told Molly to act like there's an emergency so I won't catch on."
___Although I didn't smell pie, my hopes for surprise remained high. Desire will do that to a guy.
___Then Jo's red head bobbed above the cabinet, and the tone of her voice dashed my hopes for dessert.
___"Marv," she droned, "we've got a leak somewhere."
___She crouched on the floor, looking under the sink at a puddle of water among the containers of cleanser, furniture polish and dishwashing

MARV KNOX Editor

soap.
___She stood up as I squatted, and when she turned on the water, I spotted the problem as quick as you can say, "Noah and the flood."
___A hole in the sprayer hose created a steady stream that bathed the back wall of the sink cabinet the instant the water came on. Beats me how that 3-year-old hose sprang a leak. Maybe the first mosquito of spring mistook the hose for the back of my neck.
___I didn't sleep well that night, realizing all-too-well that another plumbing fiasco, complete with 45 trips to our friendly neighborhood hardware mall, awaited my arising.
___Actually, I replaced the sprayer with just one trip to the hardware mall. But then I got too cocky. I remembered the water in that sink hadn't been turning off well. Next, I recalled the nylon washer I once replaced in a faucet.
___So, I did the manly-but-stupid thing and took the faucet casing off, just for a little look. No nylon washer. "Outta my league," I told the faucet.
___When I opened the water valves, the faucet ran beautifully. Problem was, the handle was in the off position. I pulled down on the handle and got the water off, but it came back on as soon as I let go.
___"No problem," I reasoned. "I'll just put in a new faucet." Yeah, right.
___Before you install a faucet, you've got to take the old one out. I've given this matter about five hours of close-- very close--thought, and I've decided the plumbers who put in our faucet must've screwed down the nut that holds it in place before they attached the drain pipe, garbage disposal and suction hose that make the disposal drain right.
___Two smashed fingers and several scraped knuckles later, I conceded defeat. We called the plumber. I do not have the spiritual gift of plumbing. In fact, plumbing could cause a person to lose a spiritual gift or two.
___But I thank God for plumbers. With infinite wisdom, God called some to be plumbers. And when we all get to heaven, they'll make house calls. For free.

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