May 12, 1999
FAMILY MATTERS:
Families make priorities to slow down
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I am tired! Just trying to keep up with our children is wearing me out. Even summers have gotten stressful. Little League pretty well takes the summer, especially if our children make All Stars. They pray they can be an All Star, but I silently hope something happens so they don't, because I want to take a family vacation. With school starting in early August, we wind up not having any time to get away. Any ideas for dealing with this constant "rat race" would be welcome!
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We as parents have been too successful in some dimensions of our parenting. We have so tried to "do it all" that we are raising children who assume that is theonly way to approach life.
Mary Stredham
Family Therapist
Abilene
___Too much of a good thing is too much. We are running ourselves ragged. Sadly, we get caught in a web of guilt, though, if we consider setting limits, fearing that we will be depriving our children of an opportunity available to them.
___Granted, it is wonderful for children to find outlets for their energy and talents, but it also is good for them to have some unstructured time. In such un-scheduled moments, they get in touch with their own creativity, work out disputes that arise as they play with their friends and learn valuable social skills that prepare them to live independently some day. Unfortu-nately, they (and we) have very few such moments.
___Stephen Covey has said, "The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing." Jesus said it this way, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."
___We are not only given permission to say no to some options; we are commanded to do so. It is OK to protest the baseball season that gets longer each year. It is OK to miss a game. It is OK to insist that our children choose between activities instead of finding a way to fit them all in, even if it "kills us." (News flash: It is!) It is OK to set limits on how many activities your children can have at any one time. By doing so, you not only protect their precious time and health but your own.
___The main thing we as parents need to teach our children is that their worth and value are not tied up in how much they do or even how well they do it.
___Perhaps when we slow down a bit ourselves, God will have greater opportunity to remind us of his constant love for each of us--whether we hit a home run or strike out.
___Now, that is worth teaching our beloved children!
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