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August 11, 1999






FAMILY MATTERS:
Four keys unlock doors of loneliness

Q__
_
How can I effectively combat my loneliness?
___

ADevelop loving relationships and make them grow. In Proverbs 14:20, the writer refers to a man with many friends as rich. Loving friendships are vital to all of
Smith
STEVE SMITH
Minister to Singles
Prestonwood Baptist
Church, Plano

us, yet we spend far too little time considering what makes them work.
___What are the qualities that are most conducive to creating loving, growing relationships?
___bluebull Communication: Most of us recognize communication is the primary skill for relationship-building, but we aren't as successful as we would like to be. Many times, we are unclear about what we want to say or we are unable to put it into the right words. We can do better.
___We can tell others they are loved. Compliment them. Explain when you feel misunderstood. Express joy. Listen.
___bluebull Affection: We seem fearful both of giving and receiving physical affection, even though we are now being told it is essential for our health. A handshake, a pat on the back or a good hug will breathe fresh life into our tired bodies. The Apostle Paul affirmed the effectiveness of affection when he commanded the Corinthian Church to "greet one another with a holy kiss."
___bluebull Forgiveness: This often comes hard, especially when we can find no reason for another person's hurtful behavior. We can only be agents of forgiveness when we compassionately understand that those who wrong us are as imperfect human beings as are we, capable of all kinds of wrongdoing.
___It is the love of God that enables us to put the wrong in the perspective of eternity and view the act apart from the person. We learn the long-range relationship is greater and more important than the momentary pain that it caused.
___bluebull Honesty: Our security is based on the assumption friends will be honest with us. When this fragile security is violated, our lives can be shattered. Trust is a major building block for any relationship. When there is no truth, there is no relationship. Even insignificant deceptions can create a tangled web of distrust.
___Beyond these four qualities, we always must remember that for relationships to grow, we are required to be selfless, not selfish in our approach.
___In Romans 12:10, Paul gives us a key principle that will assure us we can be rich with friends: "Love each other like brothers and sisters. Give each other more honor than you want for yourselves."


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