August 4, 1999

FAMILY BIBLE SERIES: Jacob, Esau
have lessons for modern-day families
___ Genesis 32:3-33:17

___By Susan Pigott
___Logsdon School of Theology, Abilene
___My brother told me he loved me for the first time seven years ago. We had grown up loathing each other. I was eight years his junior, and he viewed me as the usurper of our parents' love and attention. His favorite name for me was "Brat." My favorite response was, "I hate you!" These sentiments continued even into adulthood.
___ Honest humility (Genesis 32:9-11). Esau and Jacob were similarly divided, not only by hatred and betrayal, but by distance. Now Jacob had to return home and face his brother's festering resentment. And he was afraid.
___Jacob prayed a beautiful prayer, reflecting on God's promises and humbly recognizing his undeserved blessings. He also pleaded with God to deliver him from Esau so the promise of prosperity and descendants could still be realized. Nevertheless, Jacob did not leave anything to chance. He devised a plan to barter his way into his brother's good graces (old habits die hard!). He told his servants to divvy up his livestock, march ahead and offer the livestock to Esau. Jacob hoped he could placate Esau with wealth (Genesis 32:20).
___ Spiritual struggle (Genesis 32:24-30). That night Jacob was suddenly attacked by an unknown man he may have assumed at first was Esau. The struggle went on for the entire night, but when it was all over Jacob had been blessed and had received a new name: Israel ("one who strives with God"). Although the text never identifies the man, Jacob obviously believed he had encountered God because he named the place Peniel ("face of God"). This encounter changed Jacob and gave him new courage. Who was Esau compared to God?
___ Emotional reconciliation (Genesis 33:1-4). In the morning, Jacob went to greet his brother, bowing before him seven times, but no longer afraid. Surprisingly, Esau ran to meet him, embraced him and welcomed him home. Jacob's gifts had not placated him. Esau also was a changed man. A potential Cain and Abel story ended instead like a prodigal son story, only this time the brother welcomed the prodigal home.
___What bridged the gulf between me and my brother was my father's struggle with cancer. Somehow, his battle made our old rivalries seem petty and selfish. I was humbled that my brother was the first to extend forgiveness instead of me. But his gesture melted away years of icy resentment. We hugged for the first time that day and rediscovered how important family really is.
___Healing divisions between family members is extremely difficult. The hurts can run so deep that reconciliation might seem impossible. Perhaps you are a Jacob to someone's Esau, or an Esau to someone's Jacob. If you're a Jacob, take responsibility for your actions against your family member and seek forgiveness; if you're an Esau, begin learning how to forgive. Don't wait for tragedy to inspire healing. Instead, let God instill in you the courage to seek forgiveness or the courage to offer it.

---

Contents/ Masthead / Why We're Here / Links / Archive / E-mail us/ SUBSCRIBE!