October 16, 2000

A GROUP from Ranch Road 12 Baptist Church in San Marcos performs during a talent show at the Special Friends Retreat, held each year at Mount Lebanon Baptist Encampment.

Special Friends Retreat offers help to parents and children
___By Ferrell Foster
___Texas Baptist Communications
___CEDAR HILL--Chili and cornbread awaited hungry kids at a Halloween party. One boy started to eat, but young Kathy Key stopped him. She told him to wait a moment, that they had to pray; and she proceeded to do so.
___Kathy had learned to pray by watching her parents, by mimicking their prayer life. She's now 43 years old, and although she has faced lifelong mental challenges due to Down Syndrome, her condition did not stop her from learning to pray.
___Beverlly Key, Kathy's mother and a member of Great Hills Baptist Church in Austin, told this story during the annual Special Friends Retreat at Mount Lebanon Baptist

ABOUT 370 PEOPLE attended the Special Friends Retreat at Mount Lebanon Encampment, one of two conducted each year for mentally challenged persons and their parents and caregivers.

Encampment. She led a seminar titled "Teaching Your Mentally Challenged Child to Pray."
___About 370 people attended the retreat, one of two held each year in the state. They are sponsored by the Baptist General Convention of Texas and supported through the Mary Hill Davis Offering for Texas missions.
___Mentally challenged children learn to pray in three ways--by example, by instruction and by actual praying, Key said.
___"If you want to teach your child to pray, you probably already are," she said. If a parent doesn't like the way his or her child prays, "then shape up," she instructed. "Don't always pray in your closet." Pray where the child can see.
___Special needs children will mimic an adult's posture, phraseology, sincerity, regularity and schedule in praying, Key said.
___As for instruction in prayer, she said children will "memorize and be comforted by short prayers they hear you say."
___Even if a child is not verbal, teach him or her short prayers, she suggested. "How do we know how much they do understand and don't understand?"
___She told the story of an autistic child who was put in a class with high-level kids. Eventually, his behavior improved, and "he has finally started verbalizing," she said. In other words, he was hearing and learning before he began communicating.
___Key noted that mentally challenged children can "learn to say a prayer with you or with a group in unison." She cited examples of small prayers, such as, "God is great, God is good, let us thank him for our food;" but she also told how Kathy gradually learned the Lord's Prayer as they worked on each phrase over an extended time.
___"After this, they can learn to voice their own prayer," she said.
___Praying for salvation can cause anxiety for adults dealing with special needs children. Some mentally disabled children may never be able to say such a prayer, Key said. Quoting from Deuteronomy 1:39, she said parents should be confident that God will provide salvation for those who do not develop to a point of understanding they are sinners in need of forgiveness.
___Key told the story of her own daughter's journey to Christ. At age 12, Kathy went to her mother after a Lord's Supper and asked about being a Christian. Key explained to Kathy about sin and then asked the youngster if she had ever sinned. "No, I'm a good girl," replied Kathy. Beverly let the subject die, but Kathy gradually learned more about the Lord's Supper and about her own need for Christ.
___At age 14, Kathy told her mother, "OK, you're right, I'm a sinner." Key then began to talk to Kathy about inviting Jesus to be her Savior. Kathy did not grasp the concept at first, but her mother said she could do that at any time and any place. Key intentionally avoided saying a prayer Kathy could repeat by rote.
___Two months later, Key had her head bowed in prayer while at church. When she raised her head, "Kathy was down there with the pastor." On her own, Kathy had slowly come to where she could make a profession of faith in Christ.
___In the following months, a new pattern developed. Kathy began to go forward often during invitations. Key noticed that Kathy's trips coincided with weeks when she had done something wrong. Key realized she needed to teach Kathy how to say prayers asking God's forgiveness and that such prayers could be said anywhere.
___Mentally challenged people do not transfer knowledge, therefore "you have to teach them every little thing," Key said.
___She noted that some children make professions of faith in Christ in private settings and then fail to make public commitments in church. Key said she took one such youth to the church building on a Wednesday evening and "practiced walking down the aisle."
___"Just give your child as much knowledge as they can absorb," she said.
___James Aldridge, retreat chaplain and pastor of Northwestern Baptist Church in Midland, told seminar participants that the subject of salvation should be approached from the standpoint of a person's developmental age, not his or her chronological age.
___"If your child has made a profession of faith, talk to your pastor" and get him involved in it before the child goes forward during a service, Aldridge advised.
___

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