October 30, 2000
Deathbed promise opens Northeast Texas foster care
___By Russ Dilday
___Buckner News Service
___TEXARKANA--Some promises are sealed with a signature, others with a handshake. Kelly Quinn's promise to Thelma Brown was made with a kiss on her forehead as Brown lay dying of cancer in her hospital bed in Texarkana earlier this year.
___Quinn, administrator for Buckner Children and Family Services of Northeast Texas, didn't make his promise lightly. He was committing to provide for Brown's two great-granddaughters through foster care, a program that, at the time, did not exist in his region.
KRISTINA AND KIMBERLY (above) join their foster brothers, Matthew and Robert, on the front lawn for a musical moment. (Photos by Russ Dilday)
___He also had the weight of 121 years of Buckner's reputation on his shoulders, a reputation that led Brown and her husband, Frank, to contact him after the couple learned she had cancer.
___The children had spent nearly seven years in the Browns' care because of poor lifestyle choices made by their parents. But Quinn, his staff and First Baptist Church of Texarkana, where Mrs. Brown and the girls were members, ensured the promise was kept by initiating a Buckner foster care program in Northeast Texas, allowing the girls to remain close to their great-grandfather and church--and in a family setting.
___"One of the things we began praying for when we first got involved in this is that we would have a plan in place so that Thelma could go in peace," Quinn recalled.
___First Baptist Church members had responded to the need, and two church families had offered to care for the girls. "Because of that, I could say to her: 'The church will make sure these girls are taken care of. Buckner will make sure these girls are taken care of. And we have two families that can do the job and want to do the job."
___He said he left Brown's room that day with one hope: "I hope I fully communicated how much respect I had for her--the sacrifice that she had made to take care of these girls; the wisdom that she and Frank had used in grandparenting and parenting these girls for those years."
___Today, Kristina, 13, and Kimberly, 11, belong to a foster family, a move Kristinabelieves Brown would approve.
KIMBERLY spends a moment with her new dad, Rob Hurley, who teaches Tae Kwon Do.
___"I would tell my grandmother that I am doing good," she said. "I am with a caring family that's giving me an education and sports life where I can be athletic and strong, feeding me, putting clothes on my back, taking care of me and loving me. It couldn't be better."
___The congregation's quick response to the need was typical of First Baptist Church, said Larry Sims, associate pastor.
___"This church has always taken care of needs," he explained. "When we became aware of the situation, we had an informal meeting with Kelly, who planted the idea in our hearts about foster care. We asked Kelly to come back and speak at a morning worship service, not to address the fact that there were these girls in the church family, but mainly about foster care.
___Several families expressed an interest in foster care, with two volunteering for service. Both families were "excellent," Quinn said. "If I had been putting two families on the scale, they would've come out even."
___Eventually, Rob and Debbie Hurley, who Sims described as "a very faithful and active part of our church" along with their teenage sons, Robert and Matthew, were selected.
___An important part of the selection was the wishes of the Browns, said Greg Eubanks, Buckner foster care coordinator for Northeast Texas. "Especially Frank. He lost his wife of 64 years, and then he lost these two girls who were his great-grandchildren, but who had been raised for seven years as his daughters. He said to me so many times, 'I could not ask for a better family.'"
___Frank Brown continues to be an active part of the extended family.
___For her part, Debbie Hurley said she felt a spiritual calling to be a foster parent. "I let the Lord decide that. And obviously he decided that we were a good home for these girls."
___The newly blended family is still in an "adjustment time," with the six members getting used to one another. But Hurley leaves no doubt about her perception of where Kristina and Kimberly fit in: "They're my daughters."
KRISTINA takes gymnastics lessons
___Rob Hurley, a maintenance supervisor for International Paper, agreed, noting he made the transition to his new role with a single word from Kristina.
___"I think the first time it hit me, Kristina called me Dad. I don't think she meant to. I think it was an accident. But it happened and I kind of flinched. But I don't have a reservation any longer about being Dad. I'm not a hotel manager. I'm not a temporary living assistant. I am Dad ... and I am very lucky--that's what I am."
___That love goes beyond the Family Constitution that is a voluntary part of Buckner Foster Care placements in Northeast Texas. The constitution, signed by everyone in the foster family, is a pledge for all family members to "love and honor God" and "love and respect others."
___Signing the document was no problem, Debbie Hurley said. Living it out, though, has brought new meaning to the words on paper.
___"They have made my heart bigger," she said of Kristina and Kimberly. "It's easy to love your own children because God has given you those children, but to love children that God has laid upon you is a precious love. It is a wonderful love.
___"We had a choice. We could have said no," she said. "We could have said, 'This is going to change our life too much.' We did not do that. God laid that on our hearts and--for a change--we were obedient."
___One of the rewards for her obedience "is that I have two girls now that I get to spoil," she confessed. "I get to go shopping for dresses. I get to go shopping for hair bows. I get to go shopping for girl things."
___The four children also have had to make big changes in adjusting to the new household and added schedules. In addition to school and church, Kimberly studies ballet and Kristina takes gymnastics lessons. Kristina and Robert practice their martial arts abilities at Tae Kwon Do lessons taught by the Hurleys at First Baptist Church.
___Both the boys and the girls in the family have made adjustments.
___"Oh, yes. They're my sisters now," Robert said. "It is a really nice feeling to know that."
___And the girls have adjusted to living in the same household with teenage boys, who talk about "boy stuff," Kristina noted and do "disgusting boy things, burping and everything."
___She also jokingly describes her relationship with Matt, who has been a close friend at school, as "bizarre."
___"You think that you're going to be friends for the rest of your life and now I am definitely going to be. He's my friend and he's my brother, someone I can depend on. He and Robert are always there for me no matter what."
___Matt describes his relationship with his sisters a little more calmly. "It feels normal. It feels just like I've lived with them for a long time."
___None of the children, though, takes their family for granted.
___Each child knows he or she has received the gift of a loving family.
___"Now I've got someone to help me on my Pep Squad posters," Kimberly said. "I have someone to put me in ballet and jazz ... and someone to tuck me in at night.
___"A lot of people don't have that," she said. "Sometimes they don't have someone to love, someone to hold them and someone to tuck them in. And I'm lucky that I have someone to do that."
___
Foster families needed in Northeast Texas
___Buckner Children and Family Services of Northeast Texas is actively seeking Christian couples and singles to fill the huge need for foster homes from Texarkana to Paris and Jacksonville to Carthage. To learn more about foster parenting in Northeast Texas, contact Greg Eubanks at (903) 757-9383 or toll-free at (800) 329-5494.
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