October 9, 2000
CYBERCOLUMN:
Caleb and the credit card offer
___By Brett Younger & Meredith Kidd
___Aug. 17, 2000
___President, First USA Bank
___PO Box 15927
___Wilmington, DE 19885-5922
___To Whom It May Concern:
___I am writing this letter for my son, Caleb. (I have a hard time getting him to write thank-you notes, much less a formal letter to a big credit card company executive.) Thank you foryour recent offer. I’m embarrassed to admit that I opened your letter, which was clearly addressed to Caleb, by mistake. When I saw the Platinum MasterCard return address, I foolishly assumed that it was for me rather than my 6-year-old.
BRETT YOUNGER
___ Caleb was surprised that you offered him a "Credit Line Up to $100,000"--more than the credit lines of many of his fellow first graders. Caleb’s allowance is $3 a week, so a $100,000 credit line would provide him with substantially more financial flexibility. Caleb has begun noticing which stores take MasterCard. McDonald’s, the snow-cone place, Putt-Putt, and the bowling alley don’t take your card, but Barnes and Noble, Toys ‘R’ Us and On the Border (his favorite restaurant--he likes the beeper) do.
___ At first, I was somewhat perplexed by your offer. I even thought about suggesting that you rethink your policy of offering credit cards to people who can’t yet ride the rollercoasters at Six Flags until I saw that your offer was for a "Select" Platinum MasterCard. I can only assume that Caleb has been "selected" through a careful screening process. Caleb is, as I’m sure you know, very good at math. He can multiply up to fives, though his division is shaky. Caleb is extremely responsible with his money. The dollar bills come out of his piggy bank slowly, if at all. If I were going to give access to $100,000 to anyone whose favorite television show is Bugs Bunny, Caleb would be at the top of my list, too.
___We have thoughtfully weighed the advantages and disadvantages of your offer. Caleb was pleased with the introductory 2.9 percent fixed annual percentage rate for up to nine months, but a little concerned about the 15.4 percent APR that kicks in after that. Your "exceptional platinum benefits" are impressive, but some would be of little value to Caleb. "Auto rental insurance," for instance, is superfluous as most major rental car companies shortsightedly choose not to rent to people under four feet tall. The $3,000 lost luggage insurance is, however, extremely attractive. Every time we visit his grandparents, Caleb loses something.
___ In looking at the application form, Caleb wondered if his lack of a business telephone number or employer as well as his inability to sign his name in cursive would disqualify him, but I pointed out that he has no monthly house payment, a spotless credit history and that decent people don’t offer you something unless they plan to give it to you.
___ I have been thinking about the significance of you offering my child such a magnificent credit card 10 years before he’s eligible for a driver’s license. I doubt that anybody needs a $100,000 credit line, but it seems especially too much too soon for someone who considers Pez a major food group.
___ After lengthy conversation, careful consideration and intense soul-searching, Caleb has decided that, for now at least, he will not be taking advantage of your generous offer. Your slogan, "It’s all the card you need—and more" is especially fitting for Caleb—particularly the "and more."
___ Please do not take his decision as a reflection on your "quality, heritage and high level of customer service." If Caleb were going to get a credit card with a credit line of $100,000, it would be yours.
___ Sincerely,
___ Rev. Brett Younger
___P.S. If I end up having to renegotiate his allowance, it’s your fault.
___ September 15, 2000
___ Re: Future Cardmember Caleb Younger
___ Dear Reverend Younger:
___ Thank you for taking the time to write us on behalf of Caleb. We would also like to thank him for taking the time out of his busy schedule of appointments with Buggs and multiplication lessons to consider our offer.
___ We were pleased to hear that he was impressed with the benefits of the Platinum Card. We anxiously await some time in 2012 when we will receive his application to process.
___ Until that time, we have removed his name from our mailing list. Please let him know that we have not forgotten him, but do not want to bother him with any other offer right now. After all, his schedule sounds very full.
___ We would like to congratulate Caleb on such a wonderful job saving his allowance. Please let him know that when he needs more credit than his piggy can offer, we would be honored to have him as our cardmember.
___ We really appreciated hearing from you. Your letter brought a smile to my face. I hope the enclosed contribution brings a smile to his. Maybe he can buy some Pez and have some left over for his piggy!
___ If you have any other concerns or would like to apply for an account for yourself, please give me a call.
___Sincerely,
___ Meredith Kidd
___Office of the President
___ September 21, 2000
___ Dear Meredith,
___ I’m sorry we missed you when we called. Caleb sounds fine, but I always get flustered talking to answering machines.
___ Thank you for all the presents you sent. The day we got your package, Caleb took his family to McDonald’s to spend the gift certificates (two twist cones, a hot fudge sundae, an Oreo McFlurry and a dollar left over). The Minnie Mouse Pez dispenser has already been loaded and unloaded. You were right to go with grape. It took me longer than I would like to admit to figure out that the bubble blowing pens weren’t just pens, but fortunately Caleb’s mother has seen such exotic gifts before. We’ve yo-yoed with the Bank One yo-yo and written with the Bank One pencils. One eye on the fish pen has fallen off, but such is life. The dollar bill is in Caleb’s piggy bank. (Actually it’s a box with a notebook for a ledger. I told you he was careful with his money.) Caleb looks extremely sharp in the sunglasses and knows it. He thinks your package was an extra Christmas and has begun watching for more credit card applications in the mail.
___ More than the very cool stuff, thank you for the wonderful way you have reminded me of the goodness of the people around us. I never expected a response to my letter. I assumed a faceless clerk would toss it in the trash. I too easily forget that there are real (and often good) people opening the mail I send and sending the mail I open. There are real (and often good) people standing in line at the bank and on the other end of phone line. There are real (and often good) people in Wilmington, Delaware, whose realness and goodness I seldom appreciate.
___ I may not be as clever or generous as you have been, but I will try to do a better job of noticing people who expect to be ignored. I will try to more often act like a real and good person. Thank you.
___ Gratefully,
___ Brett Younger
___ Brett Younger is pastor of Lake Shore Baptist Church in Waco. Meredith Kidd works for the president of First USA Bank.
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