January 5, 2000
DOWN HOME:
We had a real Y2canine
problem there for awhile
___If Betsy were a cat and I were a betting man, I would've put $5 down that our loyal pet was in the process of producing the world's largest hairball.
___However, she's a dog, and I don't gamble. So, I lay in bed one early morning last week, listening to her mew and hack and snort like a cross between a Canadian goose and a bullfrog. The manifestation of her affliction sounded like something between an out-of-tune trumpet blast and a vacuum cleaner gone horribly wrong.
___If I were the more nervous sort, Betsy would've raised my apocalyptic hackles. Kinda like a Y2canine omen.
MARV KNOX
Editor
___But I've suffered from hay fever all my life, and I can spot a sinus attack as quick as you can say, "Actifed."
___"Betsy's trying to clear her sinuses," I told Joanna, explaining the vile ruckus raised from Betsy's sleeping cage a couple of feet over from my side of the bed.
___For a moment, I considered searching for the pediatric aspirator we used to use on Lindsay and Molly when they were babies. You know what I'm talking about--a big plastic bulb with a pointed snout, which can clean the snout of a stopped-up child.
___Then I remembered how hard it was to perform that nose-declogging procedure on my own daughters and decided a similar undertaking on a furry animal with claws and sharp teeth would not be advisable.
___When Betsy's malady didn't clear up in a few days, Jo took her to the veterinarian.
___Unfortunately, I was back at work and didn't get to go to the vet's. I've been wanting to ask some important questions. Like: How come a dog has to walk around in circles three times before it will sit down? Why does she spin like a banshee when I'm trying to put food in her bowl? And do dogs have a sense of humor, and if not, why does Betsy make a point of watching me do sit-ups in the morning?
___Since I wasn't around to distract him, the vet went about diagnosing our dog and quickly pronounced that she had "kennel cough," a sort of doggie cold Betsy caught when we boarded her during the holidays. Sounded more like "kennel sneeze" to me, but who am I to argue with modern animal husbandry?
___The vet said Betsy could have medicine, but he prescribed tender-loving care. As if Betsy could understand English, she has milked the care for all it's worth, and she's better now.
___Betsy's kennel cough reminded me of what happens when Christians expose ourselves to the world's "germs." You know--things like greed, envy, jealousy, lust, apathy and the like.
___They can get in our heads and mess us up but good. And that's when we need to get back home with our Heavenly Master, feed on his pure word and focus on performing his will.
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