March 1, 2000

FAMILY MATTERS:
Help children see how they are blessed
___Our teenage sons are fine young men. But I see a trait in them and in their friends that concerns me. They seem to lack appreciation for the wonderful opportunities they have every day. They have a "the world owes me" attitude. Is there anything I can do?

___Your hope is simply that your sons will change as they mature. Likely, they will, but you can help motivate a change of heart.

MARY STEDHAM Family Counselor Abilene

___Many teens today have grown up in an age of prosperity. While they certainly live in an imperfect world and face overwhelming challenges in many ways, they generally have been allowed to live lives of physical comfort and plenty, often without paying the price of hard work to obtain the luxuries they enjoy. In short, they simply don't know anything else, and they fail to appreciate the high prices that have been paid for the "good life" they enjoy.
___Trying to tell them they should be grateful, that children in other countries are starving, and that they are richly blessed often gets response like, "Yeah, yeah, I know." Our role as parents and friends isn't so much to tell them as to show them.
___Jesus saw the multitudes and had compassion. Our children's problem is that they haven't seen those multitudes. The old adage about a picture being worth a thousand words holds true here. Show your sons the needs of less-fortunate people. Let them see children and teens who live without the benefits of family support and often without the strength offered through faith. Get involved with them in reaching out to the lost, the least, the lonely--anyone who is "out." Go on mission with your children. See what that can do to their self-absorbed spirits.
___When we look past the clothes, the grades and the accomplishments that let us so naturally group and separate ourselves, we encounter people whose ways and means are unlike our own. That is when hearts start changing--theirs and ours. If we are there, alongside our children, "getting the salt out of the shaker," as a missions speaker has said, we, too, will catch the vision of what Jesus had in mind when he spoke of his disciples being known by their love.
___That is what you are hoping--and praying--for, that your sons will grasp the price of grace and peace, and having received it freely will share it freely. When we really do "fix our eyes on Jesus," things look different, indeed! We are not entitled, but we are all invited.

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