April 10, 2000
FAMILY MATTERS:
Teens must learn
fine art of compromise
___I'm 16 years old, and my parents won't let me get a job! All my other friends work and go to school, but my parents think my schedule is too full. How can I talk them into letting me work?
DEBBIE CHISOLM
Minister to Students
Royal Lane Baptist Church, Dallas
___You're right. There are a lot of students who work and go to school.
___Some of them have no choice in the matter. They have to work because their families need the extra income or because it's the only way for them to be able to have a car. Some students work because they enjoy the social interaction and the extra money.
___During the next five years, you and your parents will be going through many different transitions.
___So much will be changing your relationship with them.
___The key to surviving the upcoming changes is compromise. Getting a job, curfews, college, schedules and new freedom will be just a few of the issues you will have to negotiate with your parents.
___It sounds like your parents' main objection is your schedule. If you are like most teenagers, you not only are going to classes, but you also are playing on a school or community sports team (or both), involved in clubs and other school organizations and hopefully participate in a very active church youth ministry that finds you going to lock-ins, fellowships, retreats and trips. Teenagers today need calendar-planners just as much as their parents do.
___The first thing I would suggest is to try to find something in your schedule that could be removed to make room for a job.
___Offer this adjustment to your parents and see if that would make a difference. Make sure the schedule exchange is equal to the number of hours you wish to work.
___Maybe they would agree to a weekend job or one that is only during the summer months.
___May I remind you of something as you make this important decision? These next couple of years never will come again. You will work, earn paychecks, pay bills, balance the checkbook and pay taxes all the rest of your life, but you never will be 16 again. If financially you can survive without working, then enjoy school, be involved in your church and don't let a job keep you from youth trips, Sunday worship, DiscipleNow and all the activities that make high school so much fun!
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