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Rivalry in twins often doubles
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___Run-of-the-mill sibling rivalry is one thing, but competition between twins takes rivalry to another level.
___ Our twin boys, Luke and Garrett, who are almost 8, usually get along really well. They have their spats and run-ins
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MARK WINGFIELD
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like all brothers and sisters do, but they generally live in peace.
___ We've been told this often is true of identical twins, which they are, more than of fraternal twins, who tend to be more competitive. (We know a family with fraternal twin girls where the rivalry between them is so strong the parents had to start planning separate birthday parties one week apart.)
___ I often marvel at the wonders of God's creation you get to see up close and personal when you're the parent of identical twins. For example, how is it possible for two people who share exactly the same genetic makeup to have different personalities and abilities?
___ Garrett is our star athlete. He's the kind of kid who is naturally talented at any sport. Doesn't matter whether it's basketball or baseball (soccer is proving to be somewhat of an exception so far), he outperforms most all the other kids around him.
___ Luke's a good athlete as well, but he doesn't have the same competitive drive as his brother. He's happy to play or happy not to play.
___ Alison and I often laugh now about the time the boys were about 3 years old and my mother was deeply concerned that Garrett was lacking in self-esteem. That problem has vanished, as he will quickly tell you about his many and varied accomplishments.
___ Luke is equally talented as his brother, although his greatest strengths show up in creative areas like writing and using his imagination and art. He's just a lot quieter about it all and not as prone to give himself credit.
___ Recognizing these different yet equal gifts has worked well, until those unfortunate times when the lines get blurred.
Mark Wingfield is managing editor of the Standard. Alison Wingfield is a freelance writer. The Wingfields moved to Texas from Louisville, Ky., where Mark had been editor of the Western Recorder, in which this column appeared weekly.
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___I had no hint of the imminent crisis. When I picked up the boys from school on Friday, they both were excited and happy. Luke worked hard all week to get seven "bravos" on his weekly responsibility report--a major record
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ALISON WINGFIELD
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for the year. Garrett was happy but secretive and said he had something special to show me.
___ If life were a novel, I would have immediately felt a foreboding that we were in for problems.
___ But I didn’t.
___ We did our usual rehashing of the day’s events, and I pulled out Luke’s folder and report and congratulated him on a great week. Garrett came in with that "something special" behind his back. He whipped out a piece of paper--it was a pretend check from the art teacher for a "zillion" zulars.
___ This year in art, the students have created a new planet called Zool, including creatures and artwork. The art teacher, who is highly imaginative and creative, also started a "Who Wants to be a Zoolionaire?" contest with the students, where they have to correctly answer art questions.
___ Early on, Luke got to $2,000 zool bucks, setting a record for primary student and the whole school. That was eventually surpassed, but he remained No. 2 for all the primary students. Only one other primary student, a friend of his actually, had surpassed him.
___ Until Friday. Until his twin brother not only surpassed him, but became one of only a few in the school and the second primary child to become a Zoolionaire.
___ When Garrett showed me the check, my first reaction was delight, and my second was, "Oh my gosh, where’s Luke? Don’t let him see this."
___ The object of my concern walked in at this point and immediately began crying.
___ What’s a parent to do? I knew there was nothing I could say at that point. I just held him and let him cry. The words of encouragement, about how we can rejoice in each others’ triumphs, would come later. At that time, he just needed a hug and a safe place to vent.
___ God offers just such a safe place for all of us when we are disappointed, sad, angry at this world’s injustices. The words of encouragement are there in the Bible when we are ready to receive them. But in the meantime, there’s a comforting arm and a listening ear when we need to cry our hearts out.
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