June 12, 2000
DOWN HOME:
Behind most good dads stand nurturing moms
___Years ago, before our daughters started to school, I often thanked the good Lord I could get up and go to work in the mornings.
___I had a stimulating job, and I enjoyed the folks at the office and the guys in the carpool. But that was only partly why I was grateful to wake up, shave, shower, gobble breakfast and dash to work.
___The other reason was I knew Joanna had a much more difficult job than I did. She was astay-at-home mom, and she worked as hard as a combine crew during wheat harvest. Only she didn't get days off for rain.
MARV KNOX
Editor
___Particularly when Lindsay and Molly were sick or tired, or just plain sick-and-tired, I could look at my watch and say, "In just nine more hours, I'll be back at the office, where it's (usually) quiet and nobody fights over toys."
___Jo caused me to remember this while we talked about our family the other day. She told me something I had not considered: Since she first gave birth, her most prominent and dominant identity has been mother.
___I see her as a charming, lovely and funny woman with an identity all her own. I also see her as my wife--not in a possessive way, but as a matter of fact, since part of my identity is tied up with being her husband. And she's the mother of two beautiful and clever daughters. But mother only partly identifies her, or so I thought.
___Although motherhood is part of her, it is the consuming part, she explained. It engulfs and transforms all the other parts.
___Dads, even dads who love their families dearly and stick with them forever, get far more breaks from parenthood than moms. And mothers, even those who leave the house for jobs, carry the ever-present weight of 24/7 maternity around with them, just as surely and heavily as they lumbered about with those babies growing inside them for nine months.
___Mothers bear the pain of birthing children, and despite all the other circumstances of their lives, they also carry most of the weight of raising them.
___Still, as Father's Day approaches, I must admit I've always envied mothers. Don't get me wrong; I'm not discounting the pain of labor or the challenge of motherhood. I'm also not diminishing my God-given role as a father.
___But I realize Jo has spent countless more hours with Lindsay and Molly than I ever will. As demanding as her task has been, she's been rewarded by knowing our daughters to a depth their daddy can't comprehend.
___As a dad, I'm grateful for the love and nurture and longsuffering grace my wife has shown to our girls, just as my own mother showed to me.
___Someone once said, "Behind every successful man stands a woman." I believe that behind most happy dads stand great mothers.
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