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Marriage: Smooching in public
or walking 20 paces apart?
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___"While waiting for my luggage at an airport terminal one day, I couldn’t help seeing a young couple nearby who apparently were very happy to see each other. While the other passengers and I gathered around to watch the empty conveyor belt spin, this couple was
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MARK WINGFIELD
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working on making each other’s hearts spin.
___Their protracted greeting, perhaps the most gratiutious public display of affection to be found anywhere besides the dark corners of a high school football game, soon captured the attention of those of us bored with watching the empty conveyor belt. The man standing next to me at the luggage belt was so captivated that he probably let his luggage pass by three times before even realizing it was there.
___ A few weeks later, I saw another couple out for a walk together down our street. Both were wearing stereo headsets; and he was walking 20 paces ahead of her. Their idea of togetherness was quite different than the airport couple’s.
___ As you might guess, the first couple was young and the second couple was older. While the roles could have been reversed, these two couples illustrate the progression many couples make in their journey together: from serious smooching in a crowded aiport terminal to walking 20 paces apart while listening to different music.
___ I know many women think their husbands paid attention to them only when they were dating and then abruptly went their own ways soon after the honeymoon. But even for the best-intentioned of us, it takes diligence to stay close—or even to find time to spend together in the same room.
___ Seems like we’re more inclined to watch the conveyor belt of life rolling by than to pay attention to who’s waiting beside us. I’m reminded that I need to stay close to Alison as we journey through life, but don’t look for us smooching by the airport conveyor belt. We’re definitely too old for that.
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___With two active children bouncing around us, it’s a miracle if Mark and I ever find ourselves in the same room alone during our waking hours. And we couldn’t smooch at the airport conveyor belt if we wanted to, because we’d have two little appendages clinging to our
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ALISON WINGFIELD
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legs.
___And when illness forces us to stay indoors for long periods of time, or when Mark's been away on business and I've been home alone with the boys for days, it's even harder to find time together. In these times, the minute Mark walks in the door I walk out. He's glad to be home, and I'm glad to get out of the house.
___I now understand why my parents put my brother and me to bed a lot earlier than they went to bed. They needed time. Time just to breathe. Time to be alone. And time to be together.
___ With the extended daylight hours of summer, I find I stay up later, because we generally let Luke and Garrett stay up a little later too. That little bit of quiet time in the evening keeps me sane—even if it means less sleep.
___ We struggle and find ourselves torn between the need for time alone, time with the boys and time together as a couple.
___ The honeymoon is definitely over. But, after 15 years, that’s OK. We might be a little worse for the wear after the miles we’ve walked but at least we’ve walked them together.
___ As long as old what’s-his-name doesn’t forget our anniversary (coming up real soon) I’ll keep him.
Mark Wingfield is managing editor of the Standard. Alison Wingfield is a freelance writer. The Wingfields moved to Texas from Louisville, Ky., where Mark had been editor of the Western Recorder, in which this column appeared weekly. |
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