'7 Habits' for families outlined
___By Ken Camp
___Texas Baptist Communications
___GLORIETA, N.M.--The same principles that produce highly effective individuals can produce healthy, effectively functioning families, said Mark Cook, minister of education at University Baptist Church in Fort Worth.
___During the Texas Baptist Family Reunion, Cook led a three-part seminar on "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families," based on the book by the same name by Stephen Covey.
___Covey identifies seven biblically grounded habits that can create a home environment in which families will thrive, Cook said:
___
Be proactive. Between the stimulus and the response, pause to choose a new way to respond. Choose not to be a victim. "Take responsibility. Don't let circumstances control your life," Cook said.
___ Begin with the end in mind. Think in terms of a blueprint for building a family legacy, then move from the plan to the reality. "What legacy do you want to leave your children and grandchildren?"
___ Put first things first. Establish priorities and goals for the family, then give the necessary time, energy and attention to those things first. Covey suggests that each family develop its own mission statement and continue to refine the statement over time. Allow that mission statement to be the compass that keeps the family on course.
___ Think win-win. Move from a rationing mentality to an abundance mentality that says, "There's plenty to go around." Think the best for everyone, seek mutual benefit and recognize that it is an individual responsibility. "Jesus gave the example," Cook said, "living life relationally with an open hand."
___ Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This requires a person to move outside his own frame of reference and put himself in the place of another, practicing "empathic listening."
___ Synergize. Rather than compromise or competition, this is moving to a third alternative of creative cooperation, Cook said. "Synergy is when two or more family members cooperate and create better results than they would get working alone. Synergy is teamwork at its best."
___ Sharpen the saw. The family becomes more effective when it intentionally seeks ways to foster spiritual, physical, social/emotional and mental renewal, Cook said. "It is moving from survival to revival."
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