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July 17, 2000






Ministers' kids compare notes in special conference
___By Mark Wingfield
___Managing Editor
___GLORIETA, N.M.--True confessions: Have you ever been swimming in the church baptistry?
___Maybe it's not a question you'd expect to hear at a deacons' meeting, but it proved to be a good ice breaker for several dozen ministers' children attending a special session offered for them during the Texas Baptist Family Reunion.
___More than one of the ministers' kids said they had taken a few laps in the baptistry--and some said they even brought along a friend.
___It helps to have contacts at the church.
___But while the occasional unseen dip in the baptistry might be viewed by some as a teenager's ideal perk, ministers' children face plenty of challenges as well.
___Another question asked during the opening moments of the conference led the teens to indicate how many times they've moved in their lives.
___One 13-year-old said she had moved seven times; another 12-year-old said he had moved six times.
___So is being a minister's kid a blessing or a curse?
___It all depends on how you choose to look at it, suggested Stephen and Marcie Hatfield, who led the session. He is pastor of First Baptist Church in Lewisville and the son of a longtime Texas Baptist minister and denominational worker. She is a pastor's wife attempting to raise five children in the ministerial culture.
___"None of your friends had any choice about the families they were born into either," Hatfield reminded the group. "Being a preacher's kid can be a blessing. It depends on how you handle it."
___The Hatfields offered the group a Top Ten list of ways to survive life as a minister's kid, some more light-hearted than others:
___bluebull Attend church. "You might as well make the best of it and get something out of it," Hatfield suggested.
___And the minister's child can be a profound role model for others, his wife added. "You can make a lot of difference in your youth group."
___bluebull Talk to old people. "People want to know you," Mrs. Hatfield said. "They want to know the staff kids."
___That has advantages, she said, because of the relationships that are built and the life lessons that can be learned.
___bluebull Don't tell folks your dad "owns the church."
___bluebull Be yourself. This item generated much discussion from the group, with several teens expressing frustration that they don't believe they can be themselves without endangering the parent's employment.
___"Everybody's always watching you when you're a minister's kid," one teen reported.
___"My parents make choices for me because of how it would look to the church," another said.
___"I have a fear of what adults in the church would think" if I was truly myself, another offered.
___bluebull Clarify how much of your life is OK to become sermon illustrations. "If it's something that bothers you, you owe it to yourself to talk to your dad about it," Hatfield cautioned.
___Many of the teens, however, said they enjoyed the notoriety of having their exploits told as sermon illustrations. One participant said she actually suggests family stories to her father for his consideration in sermon prepartion.
___bluebull Learn camoflauge techniques so your dad can't spot you in a crowd.
___bluebull Understand that your parents' vocation is a calling. "There was a time when I was a kid when I wished my dad didn't do what he did," Hatfield admitted, adding that he finally realized his father was in the ministry not for personal gain or to persecute the children but to answer a strongly felt call from God.
___bluebull Don't expect to be Mary or Joseph in every Christmas play.
___bluebull Realize God wants personal time with you. "God wants you to love him, regardless of whether you're a minister's kid or not," Hatfield said. "That's going to help you survive life."

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