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The power of the tongue
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___Seems it’s still true that you can lead a kid to church, but you can’t make him behave. Yes, this is the same song, umpteenth verse; but when you’re living on the front lines of this worship war, it’s hard to talk about anything else.
___ This week, I gave the boys a lecture in the church parking lot before we went inside for Sunday School. "In wo
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MARK WINGFIELD
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rship today," I reminded them in solemn and authoritative tones, "you will stand when everyone else stands, you will attempt to sing the hymns with us, you will be quiet, you will not roll around on the pews, you will keep your hands to yourselves, you will stop your drawing or reading when I say so, you will not climb all over me, you will not drool on the pew in front of you."
___ And then I added the really important part: "Or else." This week’s "or else," which was laid out the previous week after really bad behavior, threatened a major loss of privileges for the coming week.
___ Somehow, thank the Lord, it worked. Luke and Garrett both behaved better in church today than in weeks.
___ That doesn’t mean the morning was without incident, however.
___ As we entered the sanctuary, Luke began urging me to sit in the balcony (which we hardly ever do, for obvious reasons). But in trying to be cute with his voice, he turned "s" sounds into "sh" sounds. And he spoke loudly.
___ What he meant to say was "Let’s sit in the balcony." But what everyone along the aisle heard as we searched for a seat on the main floor was something altogether different.
___ Heads turned as we passed.
___ Despite that, both boys thought the service went well--an unusual assessment on their parts. Charles Wade was our guest preacher for the day, and Garrett especially got a kick out of him.
___ In explaining a passage of Scripture from the Gospels in which a blind man begs Jesus to heal him, Charles imitated the man’s likely tone of voice as he shouted, "Mercy! Mercy! Jesus, have mercy on me!"
___ Garrett looked up at me from his book during the sermon and said--rather loudly, as usual--"Why he is he shouting so much?"
___ At least he was listening.
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___As usual, I was in choir and missed all the exciting stuff. I’m heartbroken.
___ At least Luke didn’t know he was saying something bad, and that’s amazing considering he is entering third grade this year. Both my children still think of bad words in terms of "fat," "ugly" or "stupid." That innocence probably won’t last much longer.
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ALISON WINGFIELD
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___ Watching what we say in front of our children came back to us with a different twist right after the service. Mark and I were visiting with Rosemary Wade, and he recounted the story of what Luke had said. She countered with some stories of what her children had said in the past, and we enjoyed a good laugh.
___ Unfortunately, Luke was sitting close by in a pew waiting for us and overheard Mark tell about his faux pas. I turned around and saw him curled up in the far corner of the pew, crying, because Daddy had told somebody what he had said.
___ Uh oh. Sometimes we forget the sensitivities of others in our rush to tell a good story. (He’s going to read this column someday and probably get mad at us.)
___ Mark and I both apologized to him.
___ The power of words for good or bad is amazing to me. We can encourage or discourage with a simple phrase--and the right tone of voice. As a parent, I’m not always mindful of that and often blow it. But kind words help repair the damage of unkind. When I mess up, I apologize.
___ This week at church, we learned more than the lesson preached in the sermon: The New Testament Book of James is right about the power of the tongue.
___ And we learned that, just like the blind man who sought help from Jesus, we too must seek mercy, whether we shout or not.
Mark Wingfield is managing editor of the Standard. Alison Wingfield is a freelance writer. The Wingfields moved to Texas from Louisville, Ky., where Mark had been editor of the Western Recorder, in which this column appeared weekly. |
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