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Get a dog, or thank God for boredom?
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___We’ve haven’t been feeling really funny lately. It’s not that we’re unhappy or sad. It’s just that life’s been, on the whole, fairly average.
___ While that may sound like a wonderful thing, it’s actually a cha
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MARK WINGFIELD
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llenge when you’re trying to write a witty column about family life.
___ Doggone, if we could just make the kids do some zany things or say some witty things. When they were preschoolers, we had no lack of material. Every day was a new adventure filled with quotable quotes.
___ As they prepare to enter third grade, however, fewer of their quotes are quotable in a family newspaper. The third grade sense of humor revolves around bathrooms and bodily functions.
___ Maybe it’s time to get a dog.
___ Or maybe we’ve just grown numb to the humor around us.
___ Maybe we ought to be laughing when the boys offer the same old bed-time complaints every night: "Mommy, I’m starving"; "Daddy, I’m thirsty"; "Mommy, I feel sick"; "Mommy, I can’t go to sleep"’ "Daddy, it’s too dark"; "Mommy, there are too many lights shining in my eyes."
___ If all else fails, we could at least come up with funnier answers to these everyday complaints. Maybe we could act out melodramatic scenes of despair in response. Or maybe we could whirl around the bedroom with a great production of turning on lights and turning off lights while pouring water from a giant pitcher into tiny Dixie cups without spilling a drop.
___ Come to think of it, that sounds a lot like what we already do. And it sometimes reminds me of living in a house created by Dr. Seuss.
___ The moral of the story, I guess, is that when you’re serving Green Eggs and Ham every day, it’s easy to forget that you’re supposed to laugh about it.
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___Boring is nice. Boring is good. Now that we’re on the eve of a new school year, thoughts of summer boredom sound wonderful.
___ Part of my strategy these last two weeks before school
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ALISON WINGFIELD
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was not to have too many fun things planned so the boys would get bored and wish for school to start. It didn’t work. The only thing I accomplished was more fighting between the two of them, which in turn meant more yelling and frustration on my part.
___ Now I’m definitely ready for them to go back to school--whether they want to or not.
___ What I’m not ready for is my own role in the frantic schedule we seem to take on as soon as school starts. Not only do we begin school this week, but Cub Scouts gears up, Wednesday night church activities resume, and sports teams form for a new season. And don’t forget PTA and all that entails. Who assumes the role of chief traffic controller in this manic lifestyle? Mom, of course.
___ After the first full week of school, we’ll probably have plenty to write about. We just won’t have time to do it.
___ Can’t we spread this out a little?
___ "Normal" will soon look a lot different around here.
___ Now, dear, about that dog … .
Mark Wingfield is managing editor of the Standard. Alison Wingfield is a freelance writer. The Wingfields moved to Texas from Louisville, Ky., where Mark had been editor of the Western Recorder, in which this column appeared weekly. |
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