August 14, 2000

Jeffress: Not forgiving creates 'living hell'
___By Linda Lawson
___LifeWay Christian Resources
___RIDGECREST, N.C. (BP)--"Failing to grant forgiveness to other people results in a living hell," Robert Jeffress told people attending Discipleship and Family Week at Ridgecrest Conference Center.

ROBERT JEFFRESS

___"We cannot control the offenses that come into our lives. What we can control is how we handle them," said Jeffress, pastor of First Baptist Church of Wichita Falls and author of "Free to Forgive," an interactive course published by LifeWay Christian Resources. Jeffress also is author of a book on the topic, "When Forgiveness Doesn't Make Sense."
___He called forgiveness "the bottom line issue in life," explaining, "In more than 20 years of ministry, I've seen bitterness destroy individuals, couples, entire congregations."
___He cited a national survey by George Barna in which four out of 10 Americans said they currently were having difficulty forgiving someone who had wronged them.
___"As many of those people were Christians as non-Christians," he said. "Forgiveness is not the preferred choice of most Christians.
___"If becoming a Christian were the only requirement for being a forgiver, then our churches would be filled with loving and forgiving people," Jeffress said.
___Despite worldly standards of justice, Christians must "forgive on the basis of grace, not justice," he said. "Forgiveness is not earned; it is granted."
___Noting that tragedies such as the murder of a child or the pain of incest can make a person a "prisoner of bitterness," Jeffress explained that "forgiveness is sometimes the only way to break free of that vicious cycle of hurt and get on with our lives."
___"When you demand that your offender do something before you forgive him or her, you are binding yourself to that person," he said. Despite perceptions to the contrary, "refusing to forgive hurts us more than it does our offender. When you refuse to forgive, you enter into your own private torture chamber."
___For Christians, there is an "inseparable link between receiving God's forgiveness and granting that forgiveness to others," the pastor said.
___Jeffress cited four reasons some people choose not to forgive others--they believe forgiveness denies the seriousness of the sin; it places too much responsibility on the victim; it is unfair; and forgiveness lets people off the hook too easily.
___He also identified four myths about forgiveness:
___ Confusing forgiveness with repentance. "This is the myth that my forgiveness has to be conditional on their repentance," he explained.
___ Confusing forgiveness with consequences. "When I forgive you, I give up my right to hurt you for hurting me, but that doesn't release you from the consequences of your actions."
___ Confusing forgiveness with reconciliation. "Forgiveness has no strings attached. Reconciliation has many strings attached."
___ Confusing forgiveness with forgetting. "Forgetting is neither possible nor profitable," he said.

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