September 4, 2000
Talk about sexuality is an absolute 'must'
___ I have reason to believe my son may be sexually active. He and his girlfriend have been dating for two years, and I don't know how to broach the topic. What do I do?
DEBBIE CHISOLM
Minister to Students
Royal Lane Baptist Church, Dallas
__As parents, we talk to our teenagers about a wide variety of topics. Our conversations are teeming with advice on relationships, finances, time management, career choices and, of course, drugs, alcohol, wearing seat belts and driving dangerously.
___However, there probably are a lot of reasons why we find talking about their sexuality difficult.
___We are a generation of parents who grew up in homes where not only was the topic of sex taboo, but for many, the physical changes and cycles of our bodies never were discussed either. If there were something that absolutely had to be communicated, we were given a pamphlet and sent to our room.
___For some, it is not a generational circumstance but a cultural one.
___Growing up in a Hispanic family, there were some things (actually, a lot of things) you just didn't talk about. Sometimes you didn't even feel comfortable asking your doctor questions. Private was private, and that included doctors, ministers and teachers.
___Sometimes parents are reluctant to "broach the topic" because we are afraid we may be asked a question we cannot--or would rather not--answer. We feel uncomfortable with the terms and vocabulary that are necessary if we're going to have an open and honest discussion with our teenager concerning sexual activity.
___But we absolutely must talk about it.
___We can't depend on pamphlets or health classes, and we surely can't depend on TV and cinemas. So, we take a deep breath, and as parents we do what we must do.
___Be honest. Let your son know this is difficult and uncomfortable for you. Make sure you communicate the truth that God created us as both physical and spiritual beings. Our sexuality is very much a part of who we are and how we were created. Call a local clinic or hospital and get the latest statistics about sexually transmitted disease. Keep the conversation short, and continue it often.
___Hopefully, if our children marry and have children of their own, they will find it much easier to comfortably and confidently talk to our grandchildren about sex.
___
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