CYBERCOLUMN:
I can't see you for me in the way
___By Donna Van Cleve
___The two cars were at a standoff at a parking space in front of Wal-Mart. One of the women kept honking her horn at the other car to proclaim her ownership of that spot. The other woman looked distressed, but seemed just as determined to claim it herself. Neither wanted to show any deference toward the other.
___Why waste good energy getting frustrated over parking? If we happen to find a parking space close to the front of a store, that’s wonderful. But if we don’t, we need the exercise. Oftentimes we will park at the back of the parking lot for that very reason, and a

DONNA VAN CLEVE

n added plus is that we’ll avoid getting our vehicles dinged by careless people banging their car doors into adjacent vehicles.
___A matter of perspective…
___It is simply a matter of perspective or looking at things from a different or broader point of view. I have learned more from my parents than anyone else about putting things in a right perspective in life. For them, it is a matter of will and being others-minded. In relationships with people, they determine within themselves to get along with folks. In being able to live with clear consciences, they determine to be honest and do the right thing in whatever situation presents itself. If people need help, they do not ponder over whether they are being taken advantage of or not; they simply help them.
___I have seen the worst behavior in families squabbling over a dearly departed soul’s money and possessions, but I have never seen my parents show any covetousness toward anything. In fact, my father has even given away an inheritance of land to keep peace in his family. Material things have little or no hold on them. And it’s not important to them to be the first in line, the fastest car on the road or to win every time in whatever game they are playing. They are comfortable putting other people first. That attitude does away with a lot of frustration in their lives.
___A change of view …
___Our perspectives also can change over time or through events. We have definitely seen a major shift in personal and collective perspectives in our country these past weeks due to the tragedy on Sept. 11. Life-changing events have a way of re-categorizing our lives into what is important and what is petty, often causing a complete about-face in our attitudes and values. It has been gratifying to watch our nation’s rediscovery of true heroic action that has pulled the spotlight away from our obsession with Hollywood’s imaginary heroes and worship of athletic prowess.
___Maturity tends to change one’s perspective as well, but sometimes little moments can turn it 180 degrees, too. Some years ago when her oldest grandchildren were small, my mother treated herself to a nice, new Bible. When she wasn’t using it, she kept it boxed and put up out of the way of little hands that loved to draw and color on things.
___In the early ’80s, my parents had to move to the Rio Grande Valley for the last four years of my dad’s job, and it was hard for them to leave Cotulla and those grandbabies. One day not long after they had arrived in Harlingen, my mother opened her new Bible to find pencil marks that were obviously written by one of the grandkids. She sat there and cried--not because her Bible had been marked in, but because those marks were precious reminders of her grandchildren that she missed terribly. She wasn’t about to erase them now.
___The situation had not changed--only her perspective about it. That is so important to remember when we come to those times in our lives when we feel we have been backed into a corner with no way out. Too often, we look at life through tunnel vision, and it can seem hopeless and so discouraging. But that’s when we need to depend on God’s guidance and strength to get us through. From his eternal perspective, he sees the whole picture--past, present and future--and he knows what is best for us. He is able to deliver us, but if he chooses to wait, he can also change our perspective in the midst of those circumstances if we allow him to.
___Broaden our perspective, Lord, to see beyond those daily frustrations, beyond our circumstances, and especially beyond ourselves … until we see you.


___Donna Van Cleve is director of the public library in Cotulla, a writer, wife, mother and member of First Baptist Church in Cotulla, where she is pianist.





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