December 3, 2001
Angelic behavior in the choir loft
___ "Your children were angelic," a friend said to me after Luke and Garrett's Young Musicians choir sang in worship Sunday morning.
___The choir did sound angelic, I agreed, but quickly added that having to watch them squirm in the choir loft for the rest of the 8:30 a.m. service left me thinking of words other than "angelic."
___"Were they sitting in the choir loft the rest of the service?" my friend asked.
___"Yes," I replied. "Didn't you see them wiggle around during the sermon?"
___ "No, I didn't. I thought the sermon was just wonderful. Didn't you?"
MARK WINGFIELD
___ "I didn't hear that much of it," I confessed. "I was too preoccupied with the way Luke and Garrett were behaving in the choir loft. Didn't you see them slouch down in their chairs? Didn't you see Luke picking his nose? Didn't you see Garrett opening and closing the choir folder and hymnal?"
___ "No. The sermon was one of the best I've heard."
___ At this point in the conversation, it finally dawned on me that we all see different things, even though we're looking at and listening to the same event.
___ Parents like myself fixate on the behavior of our children in public places. Secretly, we wonder what other adults will think of us based on the way our children act. Will we be embarrassed, even if our children aren't?
___ Meanwhile, everyone else isn't paying as much attention to our children as we imagine they are--because they're actually paying attention to what we're all supposed to be following.
___ "Besides," my friend concluded, "some of the older adults probably got a kick out of watching them up there. Don't you just know that one of them walked out of church saying to another: 'Did you see that Wingfield boy in the choir loft? He managed to get his finger up in his nose to the third joint. I didn't know that was possible."
___Mark deserves the true trooper award when it comes to patience. The true test of hearing the sermon and appreciating the service comes when you have to sit with your children. He is the one who sits with the boys while I sing in choir.
___And I can tell whether it has been a good day or a bad one by how we view the service. "Wasn't the service great today?" I might comment on any given Sunday. If he agrees, then I know the boys behaved. If he says, "What happened in the service today?", I know the boys probably have lost all their privileges for the week.
___I also tend to obsess on what theboys are doing--or not doing that they are supposed to be doing--when they are singing or playing the piano or something else that causes them to be in the public eye. And I thought Mark was the perfectionist in the family.
ALISON WINGFIELD
___I have a hard time hearing the message of the song when I'm dying to run up there and get their hands out of their pockets or straighten their shoulders or get them to open their mouths wider so you can tell they are singing. Now I've started looking at some of the other kids so I can get my mind off our boys. But that backfires, because then I start comparing how well the other kids are behaving to our kids.
___Luckily, I usually have half a service to mull it over so I don't say something discouraging to the boys (unless their behavior was so outlandish I have to mention it). And I also have time to feel ashamed of myself for being so picky that I missed out on a blessing.
___If I'm learning anything from these nail-biting parenting moments, it is to "enjoy the moment." I'm glad God doesn't nit-pick when it comes to our behavior. He looks at the heart of child and adult alike and loves our efforts to please and worship him--whether we stand up straight or not.
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