January 22, 2001
CYBERCOLUMN:
We live in a fantasy world
___By John Duncan
___I’m sitting here under the old oak tree watching the world go by. I’m remembering a cold January day not too long ago. I recall the words of Gerard Manley Hopkins in the shadows of grief: "Away grief’s grasping, joyless days, dejection. / Across my foundering deck shone a beacon,an eternal beam."
___Then I recall Grover, a man who lost his wife and was left alone.
___I stood with my hand on Grover’s shoulder. His aged body leaned from years that hadweakened his knees. His eyes glazed from sleepless nights. Tears trickled down his cheeks as we stood by the casket of his deceased wife. I thought I smelled alcohol on his breath as he spoke.
JOHN DUNCAN
___I didn’t really know Grover. The funeral home called me to preach his wife’s funeral. "No church affiliation," the funeral home director uttered. I’m sure he had made the same call hundreds of times. The funeral home director explained how the family had no money but wanted a Baptist preacher to give the eulogy.
___Grover looked at his wife, muttering something under his breath. Then he turned to me. Up to this point, I felt invisible, unnoticed, unseen as friends and family filed by the casket. At times preachers can feel like flowers at a funeral--background scenery that people look past.
___I took my hand off his shoulder as Grover spoke: "We live in a fantasy world, but when reality hits, it’s hard."
___We said our goodbyes. We departed--he into his world; me into mine. But I could not shake Grover’s words in a moment of grief.
___"We live in a fantasy world." Walt Disney created an entire entertainment market with fantasy. He delivered into our homes such classics as "Mary Poppins," "Peter Pan," "Cinderella," "101 Dalmatians," "Beauty and the Beast," "Lion King" and "Gordy." Fantasy abounds.
___ These fertile fantasies unfold. Umbrellas create lift better than any helicopter. A man in green tights makes children fly into an imaginary world. A cleaning lady puts on a glass slipper and marries the prince. A family keeps 101 spotted dogs in their house. A beast becomes a beauty. A lion becomes king and saves the world from laughing hyenas. And a pig talks, eventually oinking his way into corporate success and fame. While we worry about fat grams and the ozone, pigs stake their claim on the world! Who can distinguish between fact and fiction, between fantasy and truth?
___Most of us live with harsh reality. Children don’t fly. They throw Spaghetti-os on the carpet. They mess in their diapers. They scream for candy in the checkout line at Wal-Mart. Reality tests our nerves.
___Cleaning ladies don’t marry the prince. They dust. They clean the toilets. They mop. Their backs ache. Reality gets our hands dirty.
___People don’t keep 101 dogs in their house. At least they don’t where I live. Can you imagine the smell? Who could afford that much Alpo? Besides, you’d die when 101 Dalmatians came to greet you and lick you when you came home after work. Reality is a wet lick across the face. Gross!
___I should say, though, beasts do show up in our neighborhoods. This is the guy who dates your daughter. Lions interrupt quiet mornings, that grumpy roar you wish to send back to bed. And pigs have a way of making their presence known--in teenagers’ bedrooms where clothes cover the floor; in politics where indiscretion embarrasses us; and in the entertainment industry where pigs stink up our culture. Reality sickens the soul.
___Grover is right; reality is hard. Ask a mother whose child is manning a gun in Israel. Ask a child in Israel who awakens afraid in the morning. Ask a woman in labor. Ask a family who realizes the checkbook runs bone dry before the bills are paid. Ask a patient in a cancer ward. Ask Grover. His wife died.
___ Grover continued: "I don’t handle reality well. This (death) makes you think about reality."
___Funny how life works, isn’t it? You can fantasize all day without a care on your mind. But reality jolts you, and you carry the weight of the world. You cannot get it off your back. It plagues your emotions.
___Henry David Thoreau was wrong. He said, "Be it life or death, we crave only reality."
___The 21st century is different. Computers can soundbyte and gigabyte us into a world unlike our own. Movies cause us to wish for a make-believe life. Three-D sends us zooming into a world that looks real but is not. Be it life or death, we crave fantasy. Reality is hard. Reality is a cruel dancer that kicks its heel into your shin. Ouch!
___ Grover, old buddy, I remembered your parting words: "Why don’t you talk on that sometime?" I took your advice. I’m talking on it.
___You see, Grover, we who live in God’s kingdom have a way of dealing with reality. His name is Jesus. He only asks that we follow him. The more we get to know him, he invites us to look within ourselves. Pretty soon, we realize we’re sinners. We learn to love God. We grow to love our neighbors, our enemies, even the boss at work. Jesus fills us with love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness and a lot of other good stuff necessary for a joyful life. Sounds like fantasy, doesn’t it? But it’s not. It’s real. Why? Because Jesus is real.
___Now, what about reality? We face it every day, Grover. Even those of us who follow Jesus have to feel that painful kick of reality. The car won’t start in the morning. The roof leaks. Robbers ransack the house. The washing machine floods the den and ruins the carpet. A doctor gives us bad news. The kids don’t mind. The body won’t get up and go like it used to. Death invades our lives.
___ Reality, though, whispers in our ears. Jesus reminds us: "I will never leave you or forsake you. Fear no evil. I am with you." And when he does, doubt gives way to faith. Pain surrenders to comfort. And death bows to life.
___ When life happens, the kind Jesus gives, we can handle reality. Jesus provides the strength to handle it. We don’t crave reality. We don’t crave fantasy. We crave Jesus. And when we do, Jesus eases the sting of reality’s hard kick.
___ And, Grover, when you die, heaven’s door opens. You enter a land with streets of gold, with walls of jasper, with crystal-clear rivers, and angels singing. "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for former things have passed away" (Revelation 21:4).
___ Until then, God shines his eternal beam. Now, that’s no fantasy!
___ John Duncan is pastor of Lakeside Baptist Church in Granbury, Texas, and the writer of numerous articles in various journals and magazines
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