FAMILY MATTERS:
Breaking up doesn't have to wreck life
___My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, and right after Valentine's, he broke up with me. I think he likes someone else. What can I do to get him back?
___Breaking up always is difficult. The fact you were together for such a long time and the breakup happened around Valentine's Day makes it even more difficult.
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DEBBIE CHISOLM
Minister to Students
Royal Lane Baptist Church, Dallas
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___The line I hear when students are surviving the end of a relationship is, "I'm never going to date anyone ever again!" Of course, we know never and ever are very long periods of time.
___First, be careful whom you talk to about your "boyfriend." Sometimes, what you share is passed on to others, and before you know it, not only is he not your boyfriend, but he's not your friend either.
___Second, be careful to take care of yourself. When you lose something dear to you, a grieving process begins. Grief can affect not only how you feel, but it also can affect your appetite, your sleep and your ability to make wise decisions. Journaling can help you walk through this sadness in a thoughtful and healthy way. Buy a notebook and write about the anger, fear, sadness and whatever else you might experience.
___Of course, if you still are seeing this impact your life in major ways a month or so from now, don't hesitate to talk to a professional. A counselor at school or a minister can help you to move through the stages of grief and begin the stages of healing.
___I guess you know there isn't anything you can do to make him come back, but there is something you can try in hopes that reconciliation might be possible.
___Many years ago, I read a book titled "Love Must be Tough." The relational theory I learned in that book is difficult to live out but is very effective.
___When two people who were close separate, the natural desire is to hold on tight and try to keep the other from leaving. This book says to let go and walk away. If there's hope for a future, when the one who pulled away to begin with sees the other let go and move in the opposite direction, that person may wake up and move toward the other, or he or she may continue to move away. If he or she moves away, then all the clinging and trying to hold on would have been useless.
___However it turns out, please remember: There's a lot of life left in front of you, and God has good plans for you--plans for a future and a hope!
The Baptist Standard
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