DOWN HOME:
Trip to malls prompts theological questions
___Here's a theological question to ponder: When we all get to heaven, will the streets of gold lead to malls?
___I couldn't help but wonder about the possibility of shopping on high during Spring Break, when Joanna, Lindsay, Molly and I got out of town for a few days.
___Getting out of town for a few days is a good idea if you've got teenagers. If you've got preschoolers and you think their attention spans are short, just wait until you have teens.
___It's not that they can't concentrate and pay attention. It's just that they're so distracted at home. They've got school and friends and church and phone calls and extra-curricular activities and homework and e-mail and you name it. Even sweet-natured, loving kids can't seem to find extended time for ol' mom and dad.
___So, we got out of town for a few days. Nobody knew where we were. We left the cell phone in the car. We left the computer at home. Just our little family. This was bliss.
___Except that we got bored. Call me cheap, but I didn't volunteer to fork over the cash to go to a warm beach or a snowy ski resort. The late-winter weather in the beautiful city was a little chilly and way too windy to foster desires of picnics and outdoor activity. Besides, you can't eat all the time.
___We visited four malls and/or shopping centers in two days. I'd estimate we bought less than five pounds of merchandise. (Ever notice how a male will evaluate purchases in terms of tonnage, while a female will consider the unique nature of each item?) But we managed to pass a considerable amount of time.
___To be fair, I must report that Molly helped me out. She's 14 and somewhat shares my antipathy for malls, so she stuffed our paperback books in her backpack, and we actually enjoyed our time reading in one mall.
___Unfortunately, I left my book in the car when we journeyed across town to another mall for the expressed purpose of visiting a cosmetics store.
___While Jo and Lindsay and Molly tried on makeup for, oh, forever, I reached a firm theological conclusion: Malls will not be in heaven.
___On a previous trip to a new mall near our home, I had determined that if the Catholics are right about purgatory, it's located in a mall. Think about it: Time seems to stand still while you're there. You never know how it's eventually going to turn out. And, sooner or later, you'll pay just about any price to get out of there.
___However, malls will not be in heaven. Now, I know some folks think eternal shopping opportunities equate with eternal bliss. And I did see a fair share of people--many of whom had sharp objects pierced through their belly buttons--who at least looked like they were having fun. But if heaven is a place where everyone's happy, you can scratch malls off the Celestial Zoning Commission's agenda.
The Baptist Standard
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