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Mary, Martha and multitasking
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___When you get right down to it, there are two types of people--those constantly on the go and those who would rather be at home.
___ True confession: I'm the homebody in our family. So now you know which category Mark fits.
___ The problem with mixing the two personalities in a marriage is the friction created as one type rubs against the other. Sometimes, it isn't a pretty sight.
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ALISON WINGFIELD
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___ Mark is a boy on the go. When he's not working long hours to put out a paper every week, he has his hands in a dozen other projects. Cubmaster, Sunday School teacher, education committee (chair) and neighborhood baseball outing organizer are just a few of the simultaneous, self-appointed (many of them) positions he juggles at least weekly if not daily.
___ That wouldn't be so bad if I didn't feel the effects of all this busyness. Our Cub Scout pack seems to think I should know everything that is going on in the pack because my husband is the Cubmaster. Wrong. But they call me for answers or leave messages with me rather than "disturb him at work." Never mind that I work out of our home. I think we need a separate line just for Cub Scouts.
___ My dining room table has become Cub Scout paraphernalia central, with an overflow of paperwork and projects.
___ His other adventures don't involve me quite so extensively, but they do have an impact. Guess who gets to help distribute the baseball tickets and collect the money? While he's at his real job (paid, that is) people use me as the go-between since I am the one they see at school or in the neighborhood.
___ I know, I know, that's what the marriage partnership is all about. We help each other out. The problem is, he is usually the one causing our lives to be so crazy while I am desperately trying to find some time to just sit and read a good book.
___ He is good for me. He gets me out of my shell and doing things I ordinarily wouldn't do. And I have helped him on occasion to learn to relax and take it easy.
___ But I still want my dining room table back.
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__Hello, my name is Mark, and I'm an overachiever.
___ Always have been. Always will be. And contrary to those who might suggest it's just an addiction to action, I would argue it's genetic. My father cannot sit still either. In fact, in the fidget department, he's worse than me.
___ I'm certain I was multi-tasking in the kindergarten playroom, but we just didn't call it that then. "
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MARK WINGFIELD
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Hyperactive" is the word I recall.
___ Place an overachieving personality inside an extreme extrovert and you either get a cruise ship activity director--or me. But in all fairness, Alison knew this from the start.
___ At this point, we would make an excellent case study for opposites attracting. I can barely sit still to read a novel; she can barely stop reading a novel.
___ We've been good for each other, though. Through the years, she's slowed me down a bit with words of reason (like "You volunteered to do what?!"). And I've increased her pace a bit with words of encouragement (like "It's only 20 people, and it's just dessert!").
___ The good news is at least I'm not an obsessive neatnik as well--at least not since marrying Alison. That's why the dining room table holds the pile of baseball tickets, Cub Scout stuff, party plates and unopened mail you'll find there right now.
___ If Alison would just consent to have several of the neighbors over for dinner tomorrow night, I'd get the table cleaned off in a hurry, though.
___ I know. By now, the Bible students among you are comparing us to Mary and Martha--that time when Mary was devoting herself to talking with Jesus while Martha was fretting in the kitchen and wondering why Mary wasn't helping.
___ Well, we're sort of like that. Except Jesus would be more likely to find Alison reading a book.
Mark Wingfield is managing editor of the Standard. Alison Wingfield is a freelance writer. The Wingfields moved to Texas from Louisville, Ky., where Mark had been editor of the Western Recorder, in which this column appeared weekly.
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