April 23, 2001

FAMILY MATTERSA:
Sensitivity key to dealing with odors
___My grandfather, who is 85, is not as careful about his personal hygiene as he has been. Sometimes my children say he smells bad. This is awkward. I don't want to embarrass him, but perhaps he doesn't recognize that he has this problem. What can I do?

MARY STEPHENS Vice President Buckner Retirement Services, Dallas

__Perhaps he does not recognize the problem. A number of physiological things could cause this problem.
___As we age, we often experience a decreased sense of smell. Clothing which may have been worn several times may have an odor that he does not detect.
___Medications also may cause a change in the body's chemistry. In addition, urinary incontinence is a problem some senior adults experience.
___Another factor that may contribute is isolation. When we are no longer active in social circles, there is less of a need to dress up for occasions. Also, if your grandfather is a widower, there is no spouse who may feel comfortable speaking to him about this.
___Shopping for personal hygiene products can be a chore if he has decreased mobility getting in and out of the car. Also, personal hygiene products are often expensive to purchase on a fixed income.
___Bathing and showering can be frightening if he is concerned about injuries from falls.
___If you have a close relationship with your grandfather, you might speak to him about what you have noticed. Or perhaps you might offer to do his laundry as a gift or take him shopping so he doesn't have to drive.
___Find out about his medications and look them up on the Internet or ask your pharmacist if these have the potential side effect that you have described. If so, share this information with your grandfather, along with suggestions the pharmacist can give about ways to eliminate or modify this side effect.
___Tell your grandfather you understand people sometimes have a fear of falling in the tub or shower. Ask about installing grab bars, shower seats or other aides to prevent a fall.
___Above all, be careful not to make jokes about this situation, since this could teach your children ridicule is acceptable. Also, educate your children about these physiological changes as appropriate for their ages. As they see how you deal with this sensitive situation lovingly, they will learn a valuable lesson. Honoring our elders certainly is one important way we can be more Christlike.
___

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