Adoptive couple see God's love
in Down syndrome child
___By Scott Collins
___Buckner News Service
___KOUNTZE--Wanda and Victor Turmes knew little Brooke was the daughter they were supposed to adopt the minute they saw her.
___The fact that she was born with Down syndrome didn't hinder their vision of God's divine plan at all.
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BROOKE TURMES playing a game of bedtime peek-a-boo.
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___"We had prayed for our children so much together and longed for that so much that we knew almost immediately that Brooke was our daughter," Mrs. Turmes explained.
___"We didn't have the money for adoption. We had never called Buckner. We had no clue about how to do the whole adoption thing. But we knew in our hearts that she was our daughter."
___The Turmeses first heard about Brooke in December 1998 when a church friend asked for prayer for a little baby with Down syndrome needing to be adopted. The friend and her husband had adopted a Russian child through Buckner Adoption and Maternity Services and knew about Brooke, who was two weeks old at the time and still in the hospital.
___"That night, I shared with Victor about Brooke, and for me, it was almost immediately that this was the child we had prayed for for two or three years," Mrs. Turmes said.
___Brooke's birthmother, Christine, had intended from the beginning to place her child for adoption. And in fact, another adoptive family already had been lined up by officials with Buckner.
___Then came the prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome, a congenital malformation accompanied by moderate to severe mental disability.
___The first adoptive family decided they were not capable of coping with the extra effort a special-needs child would require.
___Though the Buckner staff working with the two families was in shock at the diagnosis and the turn of events, one of their policies helped them find a way through.
___"We always tell families that after the baby is born, there is time for the birthmother to reassess her plan for adoption and there is time for the family to reassess whether this is a child they feel they can parent," explained Adela Jones, clinical director for Buckner Adoption and Maternity Services. "Hardly ever do either of the parties change the plan. But we truly mean that either way. There is no pressure from this agency on either party."
___That spirit enabled the prospective adoptive family to make their decision. It also opened the door for the Turmeses to enter, although they did not enter the equation until Brooke was born.
___After Brooke was dismissed from the hospital, she went home with her birthmother and her birth-grandparents. Once the Turmeses made their decision, they still had to complete the adoption paperwork, home study and other preparations.
___In late December, just two weeks after first hearing about Brooke, the Turmeses met with the birth family the first time.
___"It was a week after Christmas," Mrs. Turmes said. "It was on a Wednesday. We sensed from the day we met them that they were a family that really loved God. We could see their spiritual influence over the whole situation.
___"Being in their home and seeing Christine and Brooke's grandparents and the love they had for her (Brooke) and the love they had for God, we just knew that they would always be a part of our lives as a family."
___During that first meeting, she recalled, Brooke's birth grandfather asked, with tears in his eyes, "Do the birth-grandparents get to adopt the parents too?"
___"They have done that," she said. "They treat us like we're their kids."
___On Jan. 6, 1999, just a month after first hearing about Brooke, Wanda and Victor Turmes welcomed their new daughter into their home in Kountze.
___"To me it was almost like it wasn't real," she said. "It was kind of like your wedding day. You've waited so long for this day and it's finally here and it doesn't seem real."
___But the couple knows it is for real now. They also know the reality of Brooke's Down syndrome.
___"I think the first reality check for me was when she didn't do so well in one of the exams," Mrs. Turmes said. "There are going to be disappointments; there are going to be struggles that we're going to have to overcome and accept. But that's OK. I also can't be naive and think that she can do everything that every other person can do."
___Still, as a mother and faithful follower of God, she believes Brooke is the person she was created to be.
___"God knows her better than any of us. And he created her perfectly. There are things that she is going to be able to accomplish that are going to amaze us as a child with special needs. And there are going to be things that she cannot do, but I can't decide that. All I can do is look and see where she is and work with her there."
___"I just don't want her to miss out on what she can be," her adoptive father added.
___As the father of a child with special needs, Victor Turmes says he takes seriously his task of raising Brooke in a loving and encouraging environment.
___"God has given us the responsibility, and God has chosen us to raise her," he said. "Sometimes I don't know why, but I'm glad he did. There are a lot of people out there pulling for her who are praying for her."
___His wife believes the adoption of Brooke gives her a better understanding of God's relationship with people.
___"It's sort of like when God adopts us knowing our needs, knowing we are sinful and that we don't know how to be children of God," she said. "He patiently loves us anyway and constantly works with us over and over to teach us his ways and how to be a child of God.
___"We took Brooke and adopted her with her special needs, and we work with her over and over to help her become all she can become. And God does that same thing with us.
___"Our special need is needing a Savior, and he adopts us and provides a way," Mrs. Turmes sai. "Then he works diligently to create in us a heart for him and to develop spiritually and to grow and mature spiritually. I kind of relate to that."
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