April 9, 2001
DOWN HOME:
The greatest sound a TV makes is blessed silence
___If medieval kings had installed cable television in their castles, the most-trusted knight would have been given charge over the remote control.
___The TV clicker symbolizes power. Control. The right to set America's viewing agenda.
___OK, not America's viewing agenda. But at least the family's viewing agenda.
MARV KNOX
Editor
___In our family, the remote is a subtle influence. We don't often argue over the channel we're watching, but the person with the clicker seems to pick most of the time.
___And we all have different tastes.
___Molly, 14, mostly enjoys a couple of channels--one with numerous sitcoms aimed at teenagers, and a movie channel with feature-length films aimed at teenagers.
___Lindsay, 17, has a sitcom or two she likes to watch when she's got time for TV. But mostly, she likes to surf. Drives me crazy, too. Just about the time I get interested in a program, click. She's off to the next channel up or down the line. She'll surf past three or four channels and then stop just long enough for me to care about what happens next. You guessed it--click.
___Joanna, (no way am I gonna tell you how old she is), is the craftiest TV watcher in the family. She usually waits until everyone's out of the den, and then she enjoys absolute domain. And if anybody comes in the room, she already holds "power of previous viewing." She's also good at finding the shows we all enjoy, especially old movie musicals, like "On the Town," "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" and (best of all) "Guys and Dolls."
___I've found, however, that a TV remote is an excellent tool for making people disappear.
___When I start using the remote, Lindsay and Molly usually vanish in, oh, about 2 minutes and 13 seconds.
___This time of year, a great, dry baseball game will send them upstairs to do homework faster than you can say, "Pudge Rodriguez."
___If that fails, then my old standbys work quite well. I'm talking, of course, about the Travel Channel and the Discovery Channel, especially when "The Crocodile Hunter" is on. The girls just don't get great TV.
___They say, however, that their daddy is the corny one with bad TV taste. But if I'm never visiting Istanbul, never riding the world's 10 greatest roller coasters, never intending to wrestle a 19-foot boa constrictor, at least I can vicariously enjoy the strange sites from the upper end of the cable spectrum.
___TV-watching sort of reminds me of the greater dynamics of family life. Sometimes you get your way. Sometimes you let somebody else have her way. And sometimes you all agree you'll go crazy if you watch Vanna White turn another letter.
___And you enjoy blessed silence.
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