FAMILY MATTERS:
'Prodigal Son' offers lessons for siblings
___My siblings and I are trying to divide our mother's property after her death. Our youngest brother, who never treated Mother with respect, seems likely to receive an equal portion of the inheritance. He gave her so much grief it seems wrong for him to come around now. Only in the last months of Mother's life did he show any concern for her. I don't think he deserves even to be part of this family, but Mother always let him get away with everything. Is there anything we can do to change her will?
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MARY STEDHAM
Family Counselor
Abilene
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___It sounds like you need to be working on changing your own will instead of the will your mother left behind.
___Your attitude sounds strangely like that of the elder brother in Jesus' best-known parable, "The Prodigal Son." He, too, had a hard time with the idea that a child who had been distant and disrespectful toward a parent could "waltz back in" and be treated equally. In fact, he had such a difficult time with that kind of grace that he opted to lose the benefits that were freely given to him as a kind of "protest statement."
___Sadly, many families find themselves divided by resentments. Often, a loving parent, one like your mother who refuses to disown or disinherit a wayward child, holds out hope for years that a relationship can one day be restored.
___It sounds like your brother, tardy as he was, made himself available to such restoration. Your mother--and his--"ran to meet him." Loving parents don't require perfection; they simply long for a relationship that is real. They are quite willing to accept children of all ages who have drifted or driven away.
___Now the family has no glue to hold it together short of that same kind of forgiving, welcoming spirit.
___You and your siblings can carry forward the anger and resentment you apparently have for your brother, or you can let it go. In its place, you can put gratitude that your mother and brother were able to know, for even a brief time, a different relationship. And you can extend forgiveness, just as your mother must have.
___Nothing you could do would better honor your earthly mother or your Heavenly Father than to offer that most powerful of all gifts to your brother, whether he "deserves" it or not. Such is the nature of grace, God's unmerited favor.
___The question yet to be answered is about your nature: "What will you do?"
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