May 28, 2001
FAMILY MATTERS: Children
cope with granddad's dementia
___My father is experiencing dementia and has come to live with us. Our children don't understand why he doesn't remember their names. My son said he is not the same Granddaddy. How can we help our children understand, find time for each person in the family and keep everything in balance?
___Many households experience your same situation. It is important when you are in the sandwich generation not to lose sight of your children and their needs. "Balance" is a key word.
___Your balance is important because you are in the middle. You have your father to care for as well as your children and your spouse. Don't forget your own needs. You need time for yourself. Time with the heavenly Father through prayer and Bible study will help you balance your personal and family time.
___Explain to your children their grandfather has an illness called dementia. It causes confusion, and often he won't be able to remember how to do things. Help them realize if he cannot remember their names it is not because he doesn't care, but because his sickness keeps him from remembering at times.
KAY TOWERS
Program Coordinator
LifeWay Fellowship, Killeen
___Also, read children's books on this issue. This will increase their knowledge and understanding. They will be comforted knowing other families go through the experience.
___Encourage the children to do things with your father that don't require memory. Draw a picture for him, sing to him, take a walk in the backyard, look at a picture book, brush his hair. Let the children know you appreciate whatever they do to help Granddaddy and to make him smile.
___Let them know not only are you pleased, but also they are pleasing God. The Bible teaches us to respect older people and to help one another.
___Make time for your children. Resentment can occur if they feel pushed out. Find ways to go to their activities, do special things with them and let them know you care for them also.
___Make their teachers at church and school aware of the situation. You need to have someone who will come in and stay with your dad while you do things with your children or for yourself. Ask if people in your church would be willing to do this as their ministry.
___Balance in the family is so important, especially in your situation. Ask God to give you wisdom in scheduling your time, strength for each day, patience for each family member and knowledge for answering your children's questions.
___
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