June 18, 2001
CYBERCOLUMN:
Headwind
___By Berry D. Simpson___"There are so many projects I want to start once my life settles down," Deborah said.
___"You're fooling yourself," I replied, a typical male response. "When have you slowed down? Has your life ever not been booked solid?"
___"Oh yes, I slowed down once," she said. "Back when I had chronic fatigue syndrome."
___"Well, that hardly counts," I said.
___ People like Deborah never slow down, and the truth is, I'm not sure I want her to. Her ministries have changed the face of our city.
___The fact is, I don't know any effective person--and by effective I mean someone who changes the world around them in positive ways--who doesn't have franticness to their life. Is that a good thing to live that way? It's hard to say.
BERRY D. SIMPSON
___ Personally, I dream of a laminar-flow life. I don't mind having lots of projects going at once, I just want them to line up and fall into place and flow through my days and weeks in unbroken parallel streams with no turbulence. My visual images of perfect time management are streams of equal-density viscous fluids flowing through a pipe, all moving in the same direction at complementary pace. That is my dream.
___ For some reason, I thought about laminar flow during my Saturday morning run when I was buffeted and bruised by a hard southeasterly wind.
___The longest single stretch of my route was straight into the face of the wind, and there was nothing to do but keep going. The wind was relentless and limitless, and it blew straight at me no matter how fast or slow I ran.
___ The wind was the one thing about my routine I couldn't change. I could vary my terrain simply by running on the pavement or on the caliche or through the weeds. I could vary my pace and my footfall, but I couldn't change the wind.
___ The wind in my face reminded me of Deborah's description of her life. It also reminded me of my life and Cyndi's life. It seems like the projects, and the bruising and buffeting, are relentlessly in our face. We could simply stop moving and sit down and seek respite from the wind, but we aren't willing to live our lives that way.
___Psalm 104 says, "You make the winds your messenger." Saturday morning, I decided God must have a big message for me to use such a stout wind. Maybe it was simply a reminder that he is always there supporting me through the turbulence.
___I know most of my creative energy to write comes from turbulence in life. That's why so many essays are about struggle and hard work. I doubt I'd have much to write about if my life suddenly went laminar. After an essay or two about how peaceful I felt, I would be done.
___ And not only does energy come from turbulence, so does fun. We complain about the roller coaster nature of our lives, up and down and over and over, but a roller coaster on flat, level ground wouldn't be much fun. There wouldn't be much "coaster" to it. While we wouldn't have to wear elaborate harnesses to keep from being thrown to our deaths, I doubt we'd ride more than once.
___Does that mean a life without head wind, or without the turbulence of too many projects and demands, or without the emotional ups and downs of success and failure would not be a fun life to live? Maybe. Or maybe we just need better harnesses.
___The desire to pursue God comes from turbulence too. I am afraid I would forget about God if I didn't have to beg him for help. I'm too self-centered. (This morning a friend said, "I may not be much, but I'm all I think about." That, unfortunately, describes me.)
___I don't seek God when I feel self-sufficient, and that's how I feel when all my projects are proceeding in parallel non-turbulent flow. I feel like I can do it all, all by myself.
___However, I can dream for a windbreak. If I need turbulence for energy, I also need occasional settling time to let the silt drop to the bottom. I need pauses to restore clarity and quality to my life.
___The good news is that we don't have to seek out high-energy turbulence; it finds us on its own. OK, maybe that isn't such good news, but the real good news is that God holds us up. Psalm 139 says, "You chart the path ahead of me, and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment, you know where I am." God has his eye on us to make sure we don't get blown completely away.
___Berry Simpson, a Sunday School teacher at First Baptist Church in Midland, is a petroleum engineer, writer, runner and member of the city council in Midland.
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