July 30, 2001

FAMILITY MATTERS:
Parents can help children cope with fear
___My children seem to have a lot of fears for children their age. My daughter is more verbal about her fears. Our son doesn't talk about his fears, but it is difficult to get him to play with others or try things because he says he's afraid.

___Fear can serve as a protection system from things that can harm us. Excessive

KAY TOWERS Program Coordinator LifeWay Fellowship, Killeen

fear can result in anxiety. It isn't uncommon for girls to express themselves more than boys. Males often do a better job of hiding their fears than do females.
___Younger grade-school children seem to have more fears than other ages. Darkness, dogs, being left with someone, swimming pools and monsters are just a few of the things children mention. Different ages have different types of fears. Try talking with your children and find out why they are afraid. Talk through their fears and discuss possible solutions. Role-playing is a helpful tool for children to learn how to handle problems.
___It is important for parents to evaluate your part, if any, in the circumstances. Ask yourself:
___ Are they seeing programs on TV that are creating worry and fear? Many times, the evening news is the source of such anxiety. Stories relating to children being abducted, hurt in automobile accidents or injured in fires can cause stress and worry. Some movie advertisements create fear in children.
___ Are they under stress from the family's daily routine?
___ Do they have positive self-images?
___ Are the adults in their lives constantly exhibiting fear and worry?
___ Do they have adults in their lives who listen to them?
___Remind your children of your love and care for them. While you cannot always be present in every situation, you certainly want to provide as safe an environment as possible in which they can grow. Let them know you appreciate them for expressing themselves. Let them know you always are willing to listen and talk through their fears. Tell them there are times when adults are afraid. Tell them how you deal with fear.
___Read books about children who were afraid, and discuss how the book characters learned to handle fear. Share stories from the Bible about God being with people in difficult times.
___If the worry and anxiety continues to the point of causing physical or emotional illness, talk with your children's pediatrician.
___Pray with your children about their fears. Ask God to give them peace and comfort.

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