July 9, 2001

LOVE ON LOAN:
Foster parents urgently needed
___By Russ Dilday
___Buckner News Services
___Since Don and Melissa Bryce of Dallas have served as Buckner foster parents, they've parented three girls and two boys who have come and gone from their care. But for most of that time, they've cared for 2-year-old Jeremy as their own.
___"Jeremy was abandoned on his first birthday," explained Melissa. "His mother didn't

MELISSA AND DON BRYCE have served as foster parents to six children in the year they have been licensed. "We think the love we show these children is something we are giving back to them," he said. (Photo by Russ Dilday)

show up for three days because she was strung out on drugs. The police picked him up, and he was at another foster family for a month. There was another infant there, so he needed to be moved. He's been with us for a year."
___To hear the Bryces speak about their foster children, you would think they had been foster parents all their adult lives. But it was only last year, as they were in the car listening to a foster parenting interview on Christian radio station KLTY, that they decided to call Buckner Foster Care.
___During that call, Mrs. Bryce said, "we found out what the need was, and they didn't have enough foster homes. We love children, and it was something we felt we could do."
___It's not that the couple didn't have any children at home to love, either. They are parents to a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old, and Mrs. Bryce is pregnant with their third child.
___But her husband said they wanted to do more to give a family structure to children who need love.
___"We think the love we show these children is something we are giving back to them, and our kids enjoy them very much," he explained.
___Making foster children a part of the family "gives them the self-esteem and respect they deserve," Mrs. Bryce said. "They need to know that they are loved and cared for, that they are important, that they aren't just some kid cast aside, that they are someone who is important and that they can make a difference in our family and society as well."
___David Chandler, foster care director for Buckner Children and Family Services of North Texas, said the Bryces are like many of the 32 licensed foster families Buckner currently trains and develops in that region of the state.
___"Like most of our families, they have a desire to do a ministry for children," Chandler said. "That seems to be the commonality. Foster parents that go into it for any other reason, it usually doesn't work for them. Families really have to view it as a ministry to children or they're not successful."
___Buckner is urgently seeking more families like the Bryces who are willing to become foster parents.
___Due to a shortage of foster parents, Buckner must turn away an average of 22 children each month--children who urgently need a loving family while they are in major life transitions.
___The majority of foster families keep children an average of six to nine months, "but the range can go anywhere from one night to one year," he said. "Typically, it doesn't go past a

FOR JOE & CYNTHIA HIGHT, foster parenting was a chance to expand their three-member family. Son Reese (foreground) said having a brother around to play with "is good." (Photo by Russ Dilday)

year unless the parental rights are terminated."
___Like Jeremy, many of the children who are placed in foster care are victims of abuse or neglect, he said, "but we also take kids that maybe the family is unable to care for the child due to financial circumstances or the family may come to us rather than Child Protective Services coming to us for placement."
___For Joe and Cynthia Hight of Dallas, foster parenting was a chance to expand their family. But during the nearly three years they have been licensed foster parents, the Hights also have created opportunities for six children to expand their experience of love.
___"We weren't being successful (having) children and weren't comfortable with adoption," she explained. "Foster care seemed to be a hand-in-glove sort of fit."
___The Hights, members of Highland Park United Methodist Church, along with their son, Reese, 8, have cared for foster son Mitch, 6, for six months, their longest placement.
___"We usually have children anywhere from four weeks to six weeks, so this has been very atypical for us to have someone this long," Mrs. Hight said. "It's not atypical for foster parents, just atypical for us."
___"We also were interested in Reese having sibling experiences," her husband said. "We were interested in sharing the wealth that we feel our family enjoys with those who would benefit from it. It was an adventure of ignorance beyond that. I've always had an affinity for children, so I was not put off by the sense of trial that you know you will experience."
___And Reese describes having a brother around as "usually pretty nice. Having somebody around to play with is good."
___Mitch, who was placed in foster care because he was a witness to abuse and began to act out as a result, has been able to fit in with the family, although with some lingering discipline issues.
___That underscores the need to look at foster care as a Christian calling, Hight said. "I haven't experienced too many senses of being called into Christian service, but I think this is one experience where I do feel I've experienced that sense of call."
___While both the Bryces and Hights are quick to tell of the joys and the calling of foster parenthood, they also are honest in their assessment of the tough times.
___"Probably the toughest part is dealing with the discipline," Mrs. Bryce said. "You don't know what's going to work. You try different techniques. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it backfires. Be flexible."
___"For me, the toughest part is the emotional roller coaster," Mrs. Hight said. "The hardest part is not getting that immediate reward back from the child. Having the child call you names, threaten to hit you, be resistant. It just wears you down."
___But both families are just as eager to share the good times of their ministries, and all said they have seen real rewards for their efforts.
___"It's seeing the look on that child's face when they know they are loved and they know they are not going to be hurt," Mrs. Bryce said. "That they are safe and they trust you. When they realize that they are important and that they are loved, it makes everything that you go through worth it."
___The Bryces said they both look forward to Jeremy's pending adoption by another family as one of their rewards.
___"In some ways, it will be a little bit of a relief to know he is going on to a permanent home where he needs to be and will have a good life," she said. "It's never an easy transition, but you have to trust that God is going to take him from your house to the rest of his life."
___ How to help: Anyone interested in becoming a foster parent is invited to attend the Buckner Foster Care Open House July 12 at 6:30 p.m. on the Buckner Children's Home campus at 5200 S. Buckner Blvd. in Dallas. The open house will be held on the second floor of the R.C. Campbell Administration Building. Buckner also is offering evening foster parent training classes beginning July 17. For more information, call Sandra McAtee at (214) 321-4530.
___
__

Get printer-friendly version of this story


Send this story to a friend

News of religion, faith, missions, Bible study and Christian ministry among Texas Baptist churches, in the BGCT, the Southern Baptist Convention ( SBC ) and around the world.

---

Contents/ Masthead / Why We're Here / Links / Archive / E-mail us/ SUBSCRIBE!