August 13, 2001
Now a dad, former major league player
urges sports parents to seek God's help
___By Ken Walker
___Baptist Press
___ARLINGTON (BP)--Although he spent 16 years in the major leagues and won a 1985 World Series title with the Kansas City Royals, Jim Sundberg felt more pressure as a spectator at his children's games.
JIM SUNDBERG
___Scanning the headlines, he knows many parents feel the same way. And when they don't learn how to control their emotions at youth sports events, the results can be tragic.Among examples this year:
___A judge sentenced a San Fernando, Calif., man to 45 days in jail this year for attacking a Little League manager for taking his boy out of a game early. And a Texas legislator has proposed giving coaches and game officials the same legal protection as public servants, with a maximum of one year in jail and a $4,000 fine for any assault.
___"That's what happens when there's outbursts," Sundberg said of the sports-connected violence that has erupted in recent years. "Somebody's emotionally connected or enmeshed with their child's play. Parents need to begin the process of letting go, letting the child have his own experiences."
___That's what he had to do. Despite a long playing and broadcasting career, as a parent Sundberg had to learn new ways of handling his emotions.
___When he got angry over a referee's call, he walked around to cool down. If a loudmouthed parent upset him, he talked it over with his wife or moved to a different seat where he couldn't see that person.
___He also turned to prayer.
___"At any moment, you can approach God and ask for help," Sundberg said. "I would say: 'Lord, I'm starting to well up here. This person next to me is agitating me, and I'm beginning to get angry because of the way they're responding. Help me relieve this.'"
___He recommends others take such steps to deal with their emotions and actions as their children participate in team sports.
___Parents must recognize this is their child's experience, he said, not something they can grab on to re-live their own childhood or make up for something they missed.
___The former All Star catcher has become an authority on the subject through the company he formed several years ago, Sports Training Systems.
___Set up to publish instructional materials for coaches and players, his work brought him in constant contact with youth sports leagues. The biggest problem he saw in this environment was parents.
___To address the situation, Sundberg and his wife, Janet, a behavioral specialist, wrote "How to Win at Sports Parenting." Though it isn't on any best-seller list, he said, the volume nevertheless has generated response since its release last year.
___Some youth league directors have given it to "troublemakers" and never faced another awkward situation with that parent, said Sundberg, a member of Lake Arlington Baptist Church in Arlington.
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