September 10, 2001
Mother and child reunion leads to changed lives
___By Ken Camp
___Texas Baptist Communications
___BURNET--Little girls talked about crying themselves to sleep after going to bed without good-night kisses from their mothers. Little boys told about pounding pillows with their fists to work out anger.
___And inmates passed around tissue boxes and wiped away tears as they described their desire to set their lives back on course.
DEBRA HERNANDEZ embraces her son, Ernest, during the "Day with Mom" event at the Ellen Halbert Substance Abuse Felony Punishment Facility. Texas Baptists help fund restorative justice ministries such as this through the Mary Hill Davis Offering for Texas missions. (Photo by Ken Camp)
___This was the scene at the Ellen Halbert Substance Abuse Felony Punishment Facility Aug. 25 as the financial gifts of Texas Baptists were put to use in practical ministry.
___Normally, women at the Halbert unit live in a world of routine and regimentation, surrounded by razor wire. It's a world of drab uniforms--white for inmates, gray for correctional officers.
___But for six hours this Saturday, the women became reacquainted with the bright world of Nerf balls, Barbie dolls, pizza parties and children's laughter.
___Restorative justice ministry volunteers from Odessa and Texas City led a "Day with Mom" event at the Texas Department of Criminal Justice facility near Burnet. The event reunited 10 female offenders with their children and the grandmothers and aunts who care for those children.
___The offenders participating in the event had demonstrated an earnest desire to reconnect with their families and to put their lives back together once they complete the nine-month program at the Halbert Unit and one year at a halfway house.
MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS get reacquainted (above and below) during the "Day with Mom."_
___Baptist General Convention of Texas churches help support restorative justice family ministries through their gifts to the Mary Hill Davis Offering for Texas missions.
___"When mom is gone, everything changes. And the kids are the ones who lose," said Jackie Thomison, chaplain at the Halbert unit.
___"A program like this helps to build a bridge of relationship again between the mother and child who are separated by incarceration," she added. "It helps the children understand that mother still loves them. Just because she's here instead of at home, it doesn't mean she has quit loving them. And it helps them understand why mom is here--to get help."
___At the "Day with Mom," volunteers led a series of activities, games and discussion groups to help facilitate communication.
___While volunteers have conducted similar "Day with Dad" events at men's prisons,volunteer leader Leland Maples started the day by telling the participants, "This is the first time this has ever been done in a women's unit, so we're breaking some new ground here today."
___The one-day events are designed in part to break the cycle of criminal offenders' children becoming lawbreakers themselves, said Maples, leader of the non-denominational Loved Ones Of Prisoners ministry.
___"The common denominator among so many offenders is that they had a parent in prison," said Maples, a member of Temple Baptist Church in Odessa who serves on the restorative justice ministry committee of Texas Baptist Men.
___"So much of what we do in prison ministry with the inmates is remedial, and that's important. But this is preventive."
___Volunteers started the day with icebreaker games that prompted plenty of smiles and giggles, as well as sparking meaningful dialogue. Some of the younger children understood for the first time where their mothers were living and why they were there.
___One offender said it was the first time in eight months she had been able to touch her children.
___"I was able to hug my kids and hold them. It's been a long time," she said. "Really, the first thing I thought was how much I wanted to touch them, because here that's not allowed. To be able to feel another human contact--unless a program like this comes along--that's just not possible in here."
___In one team-building activity, mothers and children built towers out of drinking straws and masking tape, but every participant had to keep one hand behind her back. Once they completed the towers, volunteers asked the family teams to name their towers.
___"We called ours the happy tower because I'm so happy to be here today," one child said.
___"We called ours the hope tower because when there's hope, there's always a chance to make a difference," another responded.
___Between games, volunteers asked questions and rewarded those who answered with beans. At an auction toward the end of the day, mothers traded those beans for school clothes, stuffed animals, toys and games they were able to give to their children.
___At lunchtime, instead of the usual bland prison cafeteria food, the mothers, children and caregivers enjoyed a pizza party.
___On a couple of occasions during the day, volunteers divided participants into groups of boys, girls, mothers and caregivers. They asked members of each group to share feelings about how life was different because of incarceration, and they told how they coped with their feelings.
___"I don't want my children to grow up in a world like this, in a drug world," one offender said.
___"There is no way, with God's help, that I will allow myself to get back in with the same people," another said.
___When Margo McKinney, volunteer from Temple Baptist Church in Odessa, spent the day with the women at the Halbert unit, she saw what she might have been had God not delivered her from alcohol abuse.
___"I volunteer because my brother spends a lot of time in prison, and it's kind of a grace of God thing that I have not spent a lot of time in prison," she said.
___Maples challenged the women to set clear goals, to find Christian friends who would support them in making right choices and to stay away from negative influences.
___"I know you've all got plans for getting out. I want you to make plans right now for staying out," he said.
___"You should be able to tell me where you will be on the first Saturday night that you're out, and who you will be with. If you're with the same people and in the same places as you were before, the same thing will happen to you again."
___He shared a presentation of the Christian gospel, encouraging the women to read the Bible and pray, asking God for direction and for a transformed will.
___By the day's end, many of the offenders resolved that they would do whatever it took to be able to be with their children again and to care for them properly. And they agreed that the day they spent together was a good first step.
___"I need to rebuild a relationship with my kids," one offender said. "We needed this."
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