November 11, 2002
Predicting which ministers will cross sexual boundaries 'nearly impossible'
___By John Hall
___Texas Baptist Communications
___Isolation and lack of support groups leave ministers susceptible to sexual temptation, according to Baptist General Convention of Texas staff who deal with clergy sexual misconduct issues.
___Ministers cross sexual boundaries for a variety of reasons, and it is nearly impossible to know who will cross these limits, said Dan McGee, director of the BGCT's Counseling and Psychological Services Center.
___"We wish it were as simple as saying that this group of people with this background will be sexual predators," McGee said. "It just isn't that easy."
___Ministers are largely dealing with temptation alone, said Jan Daehnert, director of the BGCT's minister/church relations office. While he believes this is due to several reasons, he points to a flawed theological education that does not discuss sexuality. He wishes seminaries did a better job of teaching ministers that sexuality is a gift from God that can be discussed.
___More fundamentally, Daehnert believes certain theological systems make it difficult for a minister to open up to friends and confidants, and the local church may not know how to help families further.
See related story:
BGCT churches urged to report clergy sexual abuse
___"Early on, I do not think our theology allows us to be sexual men and women," he said. "We don't know how to talk about it, don't know how to vocalize this gift. Our independent theology prevents us from being vulnerable. The good ministers are the ones who are vulnerable. Ministers can't express temptation."
___Many ministers feel their congregations have put them on a pedestal and they would let down their flocks by admitting temptation, Daehnert said. This notion dangerously isolates ministers, he warned.
___This isolation mixed with unresolved issues may lead a minister to become depressed and look for support wherever he can find it, McGee said. In some cases, people will misrepresent their troubles and take advantage of a vulnerable minister, he said.
___"In dealing with sexual misconduct, we're usually dealing with people who don't know themselves very well," he said. "There are needs that drive them, not necessarily sexual, that they have not dealt with.
___"The way it gets sexual is someone offers that kind of support and the person is so starved for support, the barriers come crashing down."
___Ministers must be careful, however, with whom they discuss temptation, Daehnert said.
___Ministers should share with close friends and spouses only, he advised. Sharing with public groups and friends of the opposite sex outside marriage may lead to rumors and inappropriate relations, he cautioned.
___Despite the isolation common to ministers, the overwhelming majority remain faithful to God in sexual matters, Daehnert noted. Less than 6 percent of church firings in the United States are the result of moral failure, according to data compiled by Focus on the Family. A small percentage of that amount is due to sexual misconduct, including extramarital affairs, sexual abuse and pornography addiction.
___Daehnert envisions a time when ministers can share with each other honestly and support one another through trials everyone goes through.
___"I pray for support groups around Texas among ministers," he said. "They can share with each other their struggles and temptations. Hopefully, they can trust each other to maintain confidences."
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