DOWN HOME:
You really can pray from there
___If Jesus decided to run the moneychangers out of church today, he could use a forklift.
___The other day, I heard a radio reporter tell about an Assembly of God church somewhere (I didn't write down the name of the town or the church; I decided to keep my eyes on the road rather than record all the facts.) that had installed an ATM machine in the foyer outside its auditorium.
___Do you think this is a sin?
___On the one hand, Jesus got really angry at the moneychangers who set up shop in the temple. And what is an ATM machine if not a tech-age moneychanger?
___On the other hand, the moneychangers who riled Jesus were doing their best to make a mint off poor worshippers who sacrificially traveled to Jerusalem to praise God. So, maybe the moneychangers' sin was their motive, not necessarily their method.
___Anyway, I couldn't help but wonder what the Lord would think about an ATM machine in the vestibule.
___What's next? Maybe automatic payroll deductions rather than offering envelopes. Or perhaps ushers could pass portable credit-card swipers instead of offering plates.
___Here's an idea: Set up credit-card swipers connected to turnstiles, so worshippers pay up before they pack their pews.
___Here's a better idea: Credit-card swipers connected to turnstiles turned the other way, so worshippers pay up before they go home to Sunday potroast or fried chicken.
___I can hear an usher now: "Look, Brother Fred, this print-out says you're behind on your pledge. You wanna go home? Pull that plastic out of your pocket and pony up."
___Wouldn't you like to be a fly on the wall when Lotech Baptist Church handles this little recommendation from the finance committee?
___Somehow, I don't think many churches would go for it. But I know a few pastors and church treasurers who would.
___As for me, I'm just glad our church doesn't charge for re-entering the worship center after the service starts.
___Coffee consumption caused my sin. Well, that and visiting too long before church started. About midway through the song service, I realized I really needed to go to the bathroom. On a typical Sunday, I could just sit it out. But in about 10 minutes, I was going to have to help serve the Lord's Supper. I could see me hopping down the aisle with a grapejuice tray.
___So, when they dimmed the lights and the preacher invited everybody to pray, I discreetly sneaked out under cover of darkness. I'd scob my kids' knobs for doing that. But this was different. It was me.
___Besides, we've got speakers in our new restrooms. I didn't miss a thing. I even said a special prayer and thanked God I didn't have to "pay" for my sin of coffee overconsumption.
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