The choice: 'Do you want to reconcile or be right?

January 21, 2002

BaptistWay Bible Study for Texas lesson for Feb. 17

The choice: 'Do you want to reconcile or be right?'

_Genesis 42:6-8; 44:14-34; 45:1-5
___^42:6Now Joseph was the governor of the land, the one who sold grain to all its people. So when Joseph's brothers arrived, they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground. ⁷ As soon as Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them. "Where do you come from?" he asked.
___"From the land of Canaan," they replied, "to buy food."
___⁸ Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they did not recognize him. ...
___^44:14 Joseph was still in the house when Judah and his brothers came in, and they threw themselves to the ground before him. ¹⁵ Joseph said to them, "What is this you have done? Don't you know that a man like me can find things out by divination?"
___¹⁶ "What can we say to my lord?" Judah replied. "What can we say? How can we prove our innocence? God has uncovered your servants' guilt. We are now my lord's slaves--we ourselves and the one who was found to have the cup."
___¹⁷ But Joseph said, "Far be it from me to do such a thing! Only the man who was found to have the cup will become my slave. The rest of you, go back to your father in peace."
___¹⁸ Then Judah went up to him and said: "Please, my lord, let your servant speak a word to my lord. Do not be angry with your servant, though you are equal to Pharaoh himself. ¹⁹ My lord asked his servants, 'Do you have a father or a brother?' ²⁰ And we answered, 'We have an aged father, and there is a young son born to him in his old age. His brother is dead, and he is the only one of his mother's sons left, and his father loves him.'
___²¹ "Then you said to your servants, 'Bring him down to me so I can see him for myself.' ²² And we said to my lord, 'The boy cannot leave his father; if he leaves him, his father will die.' ²³ But you told your servants, 'Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you will not see my face again.' ²⁴ When we went back to your servant my father, we told him what my lord had said.
___²⁵ "Then our father said, 'Go back and buy a little more food.' ²⁶But we said, 'We cannot go down. Only if our youngest brother is with us will we go. We cannot see the man's face unless our youngest brother is with us.'
___²⁷ "Your servant my father said to us, 'You know that my wife bore me two sons. ²⁸ One of them went away from me, and I said, "He has surely been torn to pieces." And I have not seen him since. ²⁹ If you take this one from me too and harm comes to him, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in misery.'
___³⁰ "So now, if the boy is not with us when I go back to your servant my father and if my father, whose life is closely bound up with the boy's life, ³¹ sees that the boy isn't there, he will die. Your servants will bring the gray head of our father down to the grave in sorrow. ³² Your servant guaranteed the boy's safety to my father. I said, 'If I do not bring him back to you, I will bear the blame before you, my father, all my life!'
___³³ "Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord's slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return with his brothers. ³⁴ How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? No! Do not let me see the misery that would come upon my father." ...
___^45:1 Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, "Have everyone leave my presence!" So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. ² And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh's household heard about it.
___³ Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph! Is my father still living?" But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.
___⁴ Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Come close to me." When they had done so, he said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! ⁵ And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.

_____By Jim Gerlt
___Did you get together with family over Thanksgiving or Christmas? Was it a totally pleasant experience? Maybe you've got a weird Uncle Murray. Aunt Bea may be a half bubble off plumb. You might have a cousin who makes you want to reconsider the theory of evolution because he seems to have stopped in "mid-evolve." Do you catch yourself when introducing your brother-in-law to a friend overly stressing the "in-law" part? Heaven forbid that anyone think your brother-in-law is blood kin.
___What about family members who have gone beyond embarrassment? What about the ones who have offended us? Maybe you have someone in your family who has hurt you. Thirty-one years in the pastorate have exposed me to many victims of family brutality or neglect. How is a Christian to relate to a family member who is responsible for years of hurt?
___In this study we are going to look at basic principles for dealing with hurt or broken relationships. We are not going to delve into deep issues like child abuse or incest.
___I'm keenly aware that some of you are victims of some type of abuse. You have kept it a secret. No one else knows about it, but for you it's a daily reality. You need help beyond the scope of my writing. Please seek help. Today we rarely find a family that has not been touched by some form of abuse. You are not alone in this. God desires for you to find help and healing and is waiting to work through a minister or counselor or friend.
___Rich young ruler
___A great contrast exists between Joseph and the man who came to Jesus, identified as "the rich young ruler." At this point in his life, Joseph is a rich young ruler. With the authority given him by Pharaoh and his control of the food supplies, Joseph is the most powerful man around--maybe in the whole world. Pharaoh had no clue as to the amount of food supplies he had nor of the money Joseph was making for him. Even though he was now rich and powerful, Joseph remembered his identity as coming from God. Joseph was still a son of Abraham, a son of the covenant. In him all peoples of the earth were being blessed.
___The young man who came to Jesus had his identity in what he did and who he was. He couldn't part with his stuff and role in the community. He went away sad. This man never could have served so well nor been a blessing to all the peoples of the earth like Joseph. He would not have been able to reconcile with his family, either. People into possessions and power are not into people.
___What drives you? Is it a thirst for power? Do you constantly seek more things? Are people neglected in the process? If so, you're missing out on what God has planned.
___Reconciliation or revenge
___Joseph has been busy since his pilgrimage from the pit to vice-pharaoh. The bragging teenager his brothers wanted to kill no longer existed. About 20 years have passed since he was sold into slavery. He'd been forced to learn a new language and culture. Pharaoh provided him with a wife, and she gave him two sons. He was sent to Egypt as a loser, but now he's the leader of the nation. The old life could easily have been forgotten because God provided him a new one.
___Joseph's dreams were fulfilled the day his brothers arrived to buy food. The men arrived and bowed before him. What an opportunity. It would have been easy to have had them arrested, beaten imprisoned or killed. He could have sought his revenge had he so desired, but he did not.
___Here was the purpose of Joseph's 13-year pilgrimage through the pit and Potiphar and prison. Joseph's father, Jacob, stated it distinctly in chapter 42:2, "I have heard that there is grain in Egypt; go down there and buy some for us from that place, so that we may live and not die." Joseph was somehow aware of the role he was playing in God's plan.
___What a gracious act on Joseph's part to provide life-saving food to the very men who had planned to kill him. So what if they were his brothers, they had toyed with the idea of killing him and actually sold him into slavery. They took 13 years of his life from him. Surely they should pay for their abuse.
___Joseph was more interested in reconciliation than revenge. He did desire their repentance and cleverly devised a plan to remind them of their guilt before God. Their repentance was more important to him than his retaliation.
___Reconciliation was possible because one member of the family was willing to forgive. Joseph had the power to punish or imprison his brothers to get revenge. He could have done anything he chose. He chose reconciliation.
___In most divided families, one family member initiating reconciliation would make it happen.
___Rise above your resume
___The year 1991 saw the collapse of the Soviet Union. Generals losing power decided enough was enough and staged a coup. Premier Mikhail Gorbachev was placed under house arrest. Boris Yeltsin had the good fortune to be out of Moscow at his country dacha and avoided capture. He managed to slip into the Russian White House and arranged communication through cell phones. Because of his tireless efforts, the coup failed. Yeltsin and Gorbachev worked together to continue the march to democracy.
___In the aftermath of the coup, two American journalists were reviewing the incredible teamwork on the part of the two Russian men who were political adversaries. One journalist summed up the situation, "They were able to rise above their resumes."
___Joseph rose above the resume of dreamer, slave, personal servant, prisoner, tenacious administrator and ruler. A tough ruler would have punished the brothers to set an example for anyone thinking of challenging his leadership. Not Joseph. He rose above his resume, forgiving and blessing his brothers.
___"Am I willing to rise above my resume to forgive my family?" becomes the question before us. Joseph forgot vengeance in order to be reconciled to his brothers. He knew that would honor God.
___What about your church family? Are you reconciled to your brothers and sisters in Christ? Maybe you've earned the reputation of being the church grump. Perhaps you are one of the "again'-ers" in your church (always against change) and you've become alienated from your spiritual family. Does this honor God? Are you really happy in this role? Why not change?
___Make Carl Bard's words your mission, "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, my friend, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end." A new end is possible.
___Unfortunately, many churches, denominations and families are known more for their ability to fight than unify. This has to grieve our heavenly Father. Joseph faced the challenge we face today: "Do I want to be right or reconciled?" Joseph had the "right" to avenge his brothers. He chose reconciliation. So must we. It's our obligation as Christians to demonstrate the ministry of reconciliation.
___Repentance
___Joseph is not the only "good guy" in the story. Look at how Judah changed from chapter 39. Judah came up with the idea of selling Joseph into slavery. In chapter 43 he pledges himself to protect Benjamin. Chapter 44 finds Judah begging for Benjamin's freedom and offering to take his place as a slave. He expresses guilt and remorse in verse 16.
___It's interesting to me that the man who sold Joseph into slavery was now willing himself to become a slave to deliver another. "Way to go, Judah! You are accepting responsibility and placing someone else above yourself."
___Joseph appears to exact some revenge when the brothers arrive. Later it becomes apparent Joseph is concerned with the maturity of the brothers. He finds that they, too, have become men of honor.
___Reconciliation is possible
___Jacob's family became reconciled because of Joseph. Joseph sought reconciliation because he recognized God's work in his own life. He desired intimacy with his family of origin. He chose not to exercise his right of revenge.
___Somehow our families, our churches and our denomination must come to the place where we are more concerned with closeness than correctness. We must seek reconciliation over divisiveness. We must understand that God is more honored by our ability to come together than our ability to fight and divide. We must look for the good in others (as Joseph saw in Judah) and not look for the flaws. It's time for us to live like the people of God.

Questions for thought and discussion
___ Do you have family members who have hurt you? What is your relationship to them? What steps are you taking to make the relationship better?
___ Are there church members who have hurt you? What is your relationship with them? What steps are you taking to make the relationship better?
___ What kind of reputation does your church have? Is it better known for its ability to fight or to unify? What have you done to bring unity? What do you need to be doing?
___ Who do you know that has dropped out of church because of being hurt? What can you do to minister to them? When will you do something about it?
___ Is there someone in your family that you are estranged from? What do you need to do about this? When will you act? Are you more interested in revenge or reconciliation?
___ If someone who has offended you asked for forgiveness, would you forgive? If not, why? If you are willing to forgive, why wait for them to come and ask? Why not forgive them right now?___
___ If we lived in an "eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth" kind of world, how many people would be blind and toothless? Would you still have sight and teeth? Do you really want that kind of world?

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