April 22, 2002
DOWN HOME:
Note to fathers: Forget 'about' it
___We survived the prom.
___Actually, I use "we" in the most liberal sense of the word. Lindsay and her mother survived the prom. I smiled and took some pictures.
___(Note to fathers of newborn daughters: Congratulations. God has just launched you on a wonderful journey. But never forget, this isn't "about" you. For at least the next two decades--it may last longer, but I haven't gotten there yet and can't tell you--almost everything will be "about" that little bundle of cuddles you hold in your arms. And her mother, of course. You think you can figure them out. You expect to be in on all their dreams and plans and whispered secrets. Forget it. All this is unknowable. Now, don't despair. The mystery only makes the adventure of daddying a daughter sweeter. That little girl will surprise and delight you in ways you cannot imagine right now. Just don't crowd her too much, and don't expect to get on the inside of things. Your daughter and her mother love you, but they won't let you into the world they occupy together. That's OK, because the pressure is off you to make decisions about clothes and hairstyles and makeup. It's like art; somebody else does the painting, and you enjoy the masterpiece.)
MARV KNOX
Editor
___For those of you who remember and are keeping score, Lindsay stuck with her original choice for prom dress--a bronze-colored satiny-crinoline affair with spaghetti straps and a lacey-embroidered top. (You see why I don't write a society column.) She found shoes that matched and a purse that complimented everything wonderfully, not to mention jewelry, eye shadow, toenail polish and probably some other stuff I can't remember. The best part was her hair. Before prom day, I didn't know you could get hair to do things like that.
___She looked divine. And I'm not saying that because I'm her dad. Some things are just fact.
___Of course, I didn't get to go to the prom. Not that I didn't try. See, I wanted to be the chauffeur. I volunteered to wear my black suit, find a cap and rent a black Lincoln. I even promised to pretend I didn't know her or her friends. Alas, she didn't go for it.
___So, after we lined everybody up on the stairs and took 453 rolls of film, the kids piled into somebody's dad's Trans-Am and headed downtown to the prom. Joanna and I stayed behind.
___Jo and I were in bed when Lindsay got home, but we weren't asleep. I don't know how I'll sleep next year, when she'll be gone to college and I won't know when she comes and goes, but right now it's still hard to sleep when that little light of my life is out on the town. We heard the Trans-Am out in the street, and my pulse rate slowed, and my blood pressure dropped back to normal.
___Lindsay came in and told us she had a wonderful time at the prom. I was thrilled, of course, even if it wasn't "about" me.
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