April 29, 2002
LifeWay Explore the Bible Series for May 12
The marriage bond includes three partners
___ Ephesians 5:22-33
___By Roy Cotton
___BGCT DFW/Metroplex Church Starting Center Consultant
___The family is the first institution created by God, ordained in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 1:27; 2:24). It is the only approved way of replenishing the earth (Genesis 1:28). Jesus promoted the sacredness of the marriage union (Matthew 19:5-6; Mark 10:7-9).
___Jesse Jai McNeil wrote: "The Christian family is established for the mutual love and edification of the Christian husband and the Christian wife, the propagation and nurture of a Christian generation."
___The Christian marriage is the foundational relationship for Christian nurture and growth. Marriage is honorable and sacred. It is to be held in high esteem in the church as a witness to the world.
___The previous lesson ended with an exhortation for mutual submission "out of reverence for Christ" (v. 21). Mutual submission is very important in building strong marriages. It was suggested that submission is impossible without the "fill
ing of the Holy Spirit" (v. 18). With these two verses as the foundational text, we continue biblical principles related to marriage in three instructional dimensions for: wives (vv. 22-24), husbands (vv. 25-31) and both husbands and wives (vv. 32-33).
___A word for wives
___It is essential to establish the context of Paul's instructions to wives in the Ephesian church. It was comprised of believers who had been saved out of a pagan, lost world. Women were treated as something to be owned and used by men. They had no legal rights. A married woman was absolutely the property of her husband.
___Even among the Jewish people, a man could divorce his wife for any cause. Remember the query of the Pharisees, in their attempt to trap Jesus (Matthew 19:3)? Notice the syntax of the verse--"divorce his wife for any cause at all." However, a wife could not divorce her husband for any cause. This is not about divorce rights, which Jesus said were granted "because of the hardness of (their) hearts" (Matthew 19:8).
___Paul's instructions are for the Christian wife to "submit" to her husband. The verse implies a voluntary submission in reference to the admonition of "mutual submission" (v. 21). Both the New American Standard and New Revised Standard versions use the words "be subject to your husbands." It should be noted that in the Greek (passive/middle voice), the verb "be subject" is not included.
___Perhaps this instruction carries a nobler dimension. Christian wives had a privilege to "submit to husbands as to the Lord" (v. 22). It is not just to the husband, but also to the Lord "in everything" (v. 24).
___A word for husbands
___The Christian wedding is a worship service. The church wedding provides a perfect setting for an outreach opportunity. Paul Powell advises, "Since Jesus considered weddings significantly important enough to attend, it should be the desire of every minister to make every wedding a memorable, beautiful and meaningful event. To ensure this requires careful planning and adequate preparation."
___Ministers must require couples to have at least two premarital counseling sessions. In spending about half of one session with the groom, I try to emphasize the importance of the Christian husband's role in the spiritual development of the family. He has a God-given responsibility to provide, protect, sustain and cherish his wife and family.
___Paul spends twice as many verses with instructions to the husband as to the wife. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church" (v. 25). At first this may not appear to be a difficult task. But the way this is done is found in the words "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (v. 25). This also refers to verse 2. The husband is to have a self-sacrificing love (agape) for his wife. Christ sacrificed his life for the church.
___Howard Anderson, pastor of Dallas' Singing Hills Baptist Church, suggests: "Christ's love is the realm of love without limits. This is the highest kind of love husbands should have."
___Ken Hall, president/CEO of Buckner Benevolences says, "God wants us to love the way he loves."
___According to Anderson, the Christian husband "sees the best in his wife, seeks the best for his wife, and shares the best with his wife."
___A word for husbands and wives
___Paul summarizes instructions for building strong Christian marriages in the revelation that "this is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church."
___Michael Godfrey of First Baptist Church in Temple comments: "Life in the church is life in the Spirit. Life in the church is under the lordship of Christ."
___William Barclay writes, "In Christian marriage there are not two partners, but three--and the third is Christ."
___Mutual submission, by the filling of the Holy Spirit, is the means to building a strong Christian marriage. This will not and cannot happen unless there is submission to the lordship of Christ. Marriage is the most blessed relationship in life. The Christian husband has the responsibility to love his wife, not control her. He is not superior to her. Love "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (1 Corinthians 13:7).
___Anderson emphasizes the priority of building strong marriages of love without limits because "minimum love does not lead to maximum happiness."
___
___Question for discussion
___ Why is "mutual submission" so misunderstood among Christian couples?
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