June 10, 2002

Faith-based initiative walks the aisle of marriage enrichment
___By Dalia Dabbous
___Religion News Service
___WASHINGTON (RNS)--They were taught how to be open and honest with each other. They got tips on how to talk to their children and how to budget their money.
___For three weeks, two hours a week, Andre and Charmaine Boulware got premarital counseling.
___They both had experienced rough times. Andre, a car retailer, had been in and out of jail. Charmaine, a clerk, had just come out of a bitter divorce and recently lived in a violent neighborhood. Both had gotten help to turn their lives around financially and personally. Now they faced a bigger decision--marriage--and their pastor suggested they receive some tips before making it.
___Mrs. Boulware said the counseling helped get their marriage off to a good start, and it's still going strong after two years.
___The Boulwares got their counseling at United Faith Ministries in Washington, in a program of the kind that would be funded under a proposal by the Bush administration.
___While enactment of the 1996 welfare program Temporary Assistance for Needy Families featured family strengthening provisions, Bush has pursued the idea further by proposing that $200 million of the $16.6 billion annual welfare budget be contributed to faith-based and secular programs that promote marriage. He wants another $100 million in state funds.
___The White House believes there is abundant research showing that children raised in households with two married parents do better than children in other households. According to the 2000 Census, 62 percent of poor children live with one parent.
___Bush's plan, which already has passed the House, has come under heated debate among religious and political leaders. Not since former Vice President Dan Quayle's attack on TV single mother Murphy Brown 10 years ago has the issue caused such a stir.
___Opponents of the proposal say it is patronizing of the poor and fails to understand the reasons for poverty or single-parent households.
___"Rather than listening to the welfare recipients who state their barriers to leaving poverty are lack of good and safe child care, lack of education and training and livable wages, we will focus the nation's attention on this provision," said Meg Riley, director of the Unitarian Universalist Association's Washington office, at a recent Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life symposium.
___Pat Russ, a feminist who lobbies on behalf of low-income families, agreed, saying poor women and men aren't marriageable because of such problems, and money should be used to lift them out of poverty.
___But Jennifer Garrett, a domestic policy researcher at the Heritage Foundation, disagreed, arguing that "the fastest way into poverty is divorce. The reason: Two incomes are better than one."
___But not all single-parent families are the result of divorce, said Elenora Giddings-Ivory, director of the Presbyterian Church's Washington office.
___"Many single-parent families are the result of parents who have died, and I'm not sure how we're going to help those families if we put all our emphasis into marriage enrichment," she said.
___Wade Horn, who oversees the welfare program at the federal Department of Health and Human Services, however, said the marriage proposal funding would represent less than 2 percent of the total money available for welfare.
___"Now one could argue that should be 0 percent. ... We think it should be a small percentage at this point to spur innovation. So we want to have (fewer children) in married households where there is violence ... and more kids in households where the parents love, nurture, respect and support each other," he said.
___While Giddings-Ivory may support such a philosophy, she thinks the government should mind its own business.
___"Can the government demand that a couple be married in order to gain public financial support? Did government demand that Joseph and Mary marry?" asked Giddings-Ivory, a former welfare recipient and single mother of two.
___But Matt Daniels, executive director for the Alliance for Marriage, a group of religious leaders and activists who advocate the benefits of marriage, said Giddings-Ivory's argument is "foolish." Marriage, he said, is a public, legal institution, and it's the government's right to get involved since it holds parents accountable for the welfare of their children.
___Still, a survey of 2,002 Americans conducted by the Pew Forum found nearly eight out of 10 want the government to stay out of marriage promotion.
___But the government would not be forcing anyone to get married, and couples would be seeking counseling on a voluntary basis, Horn said.
___Alan Weil of the Urban Institute Center, a liberal think tank, said the government must "walk very carefully in these private decisions. If you go too far, that could be very risky."
___Riley believes the government would be going too far if it promoted its own definition of marriage, which would discriminate against couples with different faiths.
___"If the marriage promotion movement devotes itself to encouraging religious leaders to offer better premarital counseling and post-marital support in the context of their faiths, I am fully for it. If government funds promote a conservative, Christian definition of marriage, imposing it upon the diverse peoples of our nation, I will forever stand opposed," Riley said.
___Horn said the government will not be deciding which faith-based organizations get the money. Rather, he said, organizations will present their ideas and programs and whoever has the best plan will be picked.
___What about couples with a different sexual orientation? asked Riley and Giddings-Ivory.
___There's a simple answer to that.
___The programs are directed toward couples who can legally marry, and no state allows gay couples to be legally married, Horn explained.
___In fact, legislation to amend the U.S. Constitution to allow only a man and woman to marry was introduced in Congress recently.
___"Now it's time to get smart. Marriage is encouraged for family strengthening," said Daniels, a staunch supporter of the marriage amendment allowing only a man and woman to marry legally.
___

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