July 1, 2002
LifeWay Explore the Bible Series for July 21
No room for animosity in family relationships
2 Samuel 14:1-2a, 13-14, 19-24, 32-33
___By Roy Cotton
___BGCT DFW/Metroplex Church Starting Center Consultant
___David’s family was in turmoil. His eldest son, Amnon committed the dreadful act of rape of his half-sister, Tamar (13:14). The young girl lived as a desolate woman in her brother’s home (13:20). Absalom waited two years to avenge the heinous crime against his sister.
___David lost two sons at once—Amnon was murdered and Absalom was banished from Israel. After three years, David’s heart went out for his son, Absalom, “for he was consoled concerning Amnon’s death” (13:39).
___Bitterness is synonymous with resentment and animosity. This scenario is repeated many times in our society. Similar accounts appear daily. Sadly, even churches are ripped apart by unresolved bitterness. The LifeWay commentator emphasizes the bitterness comes from less than wholehearted forgiveness and full reconciliation.
___ Encouraging reconciliation
___Joab, son of Zeruiah, David’s sister, and commander of Israel’s forces, was in close contact with the king. He was so much in touch with David’s spirit that he knew “the king’s heart longed for Absalom” (v. 1). Joab devised a plan to restore Absalom and assure the nation an heir-apparent. It was a risky plan with fatal consequences if the king found out Joab was trying to influence his personal life. Joab could not afford to have just anyone aid in his elaborate scheme.
___Joab heard about “a wise woman” in Tekoa (v. 2). After sending for her and sharing the plan, she accepted the covert mission. It was risky business interfering in the king’s personal affairs, but she performed convincingly. The king, as the Lord’s representative in matters of justice for the nation, assured the woman those seeking her sole surviving son “will not bother you again” (v. 10).
___Robert Bergen parallels the fictitious story devised by Joab and the Tekoite woman with the account of Cain and Abel. There were two brothers in both stories. They were alone in the field (Genesis 4:8; 2 Samuel 14:6). One killed the other. There were concerns about the murderer being killed by others (Genesis 4:14; 2 Samuel 14:7). An authority figure intervened to save the murderer’s life (Genesis 4:15; 2 Samuel 14:8). The story ended with the threat of retaliation for anyone contravening the authority’s decision (Genesis 4:15; 2 Samuel 14:10).
___The verses reveal the astute wisdom of the woman (vv. 13-14). She challenged the king’s action in banishing his own son. Absalom needed to receive forgiveness and restoration. The banishment of the king’s apparent heir would leave the nation vulnerable and exacerbate the bitterness that already existed in the royal family.
___Besides, the Lord “devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from him” (v. 14). This is a prophetic reference to the ultimate work of the Messiah. Through Christ, those estranged from God have been brought back to God (Romans 5:8).
___Moving toward reconciliation
___David had been led to pronounce justice in this case before the royal throne, just as he had previously when Nathan gave him a fictitious case (12:1-6). The woman convinced the king to move toward reconciliation with his own son. David perhaps remembered Nathan’s story was really about him; therefore the present story had enough similarities to give the king a subtle message.
___The king quickly and brilliantly conjectured Joab’s hand was in the plot. He made the woman reveal the identity of the one who orchestrated her performance. She was wise enough to realize she had to come clean before the king. She told the truth, and added David’s wisdom was “like that of an angel of God—he knows everything that happens in the land” (v. 20).
___The scheme, though slightly unethical, had noble purposes. Joab wanted to grant the king his own wish of bringing his son back, and he also wanted to save Israel from the embarrassment of not having an heir-apparent to the throne. “Joab did this to change the present situation” (v. 20).
___Bergen suggests bringing Absalom back made it “possible for the healing process between father and son to move to a new, albeit difficult, phase.”
___Missing full reconciliation
___David allowed Absalom to return to Israel, but he instructed Joab regarding the conditions of what we call “house arrest” or “internal exile.” “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face” (v. 24). Perhaps Absalom thought he could live with these restrictions. But after three years in Geshur and two years in Jerusalem, he wanted to see his father. Joab was once again a mediator between the father and son.
___Absalom, by killing his brother, had all but lost his chance for royal succession. Things had not been reconciled between him and his father. Living in internal exile was not helping the situation, but was increasing the bitterness he held toward his father. He had to know whether David was willing to reconcile with him or have him killed.
___When he appeared before David, he “bowed down with his face to the ground” (v. 33). This was the act of submission and humility done by a slave before his master. David “kissed Absalom” (v. 33). The signs were favorable, but they missed full reconciliation between father and son.
___Questions for discussion
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