July 22, 2002
LifeWay Explore the Bible Series for Aug. 4
David's family problems continue to mount
___1 Thessalonians 5:1-11
___By Roy Cotton
___BGCT DFW/Metroplex Church Starting Center Consultant
___"A stitch in time saves nine." This is a quote I frequently heard from my godly mother. People who sew garments understand that if a small tear is not stitched promptly, it will grow significantly in time.
___Being a seamstress, my mother applied these lessons to the rearing of three sons. My parents made use of corporal punishment, even using Scripture, particularly the Proverbs, as justification. Another favorite quote of theirs was: "Bend a sapling while it is young." The meaning, similar to the previous quote, is that a young tree (sapling) can be trained to grow properly if the process begins early in the life of the plant.
___David's family suffered as a result of his adultery with Bathsheba. Trouble plagued his family from that point onward. David is not shown as a strong disciplinarian with his sons. He was silent concerning the rape of his daughter Tamar by her half-brother Amnon. Had he intervened in the situation, who knows whether the outcome may have been different.
___From this situation sprang the roots of this week's emphasis on David's grief. Bitterness on the part of Absalom reached enormous proportions. This young man "stole the hearts of the people," began an attempted coup, had every intention of assassinating the king and annihilating those loyal to David.
___The lesson emphasizes the horrific grief of David. As tragic as the situation was, David had to gain composure and place the state of the nation above his own feelings. Chapters 18 and 19 are about Absalom's death, David's grief and the coldhearted words Joab used to help David gain a realistic perspective on his grief.
___Great loss
___David, though less than an ideal father, still loved his wayward son. He ordered his three commanders (Joab, Abishai and Ittai) to "be gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake" (v. 5). This is unconditional love, especially given the fact Absalom wanted him dead (17:3-4,16).
___What a tragic life was Absalom's. Here was a man who was so handsome the Bible describes him as having "no blemish" (14:25). The irony of his life is that he was trapped by his self-centered glory, his hair. The terrain of the forest of Ephraim was most formidable. The forest claimed more lives of Absalom's men than the battle itself (v. 8). Absalom's men supposed they had the advantage because of their number. But they made the mistake of spreading out "over the whole countryside" (v. 8). The pits and thick branches of the oak trees were in David's experienced men's favor.
___Absalom met his Waterloo by riding under a thick oak branch. His pride and glory (his hair) brought about his undoing. He was caught up "dangling in midair, while the mule he was riding kept on going" (v. 9). Joab dismissed the king's orders to be merciful to the young man Absalom. He plunged three javelins (daggers) "into Absalom's heart while Absalom was still alive in the oak tree" (v. 14). "And 10 of Joab's armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him" (v. 15).
___Overwhelming grief
___Imagine the king sitting by the gate awaiting news from the battlefield. David was not as concerned about his kingly duties as he was the outcome of this rebellious son whose fate had been self-determined. But David, given all his ups and downs as a father, still loved his boy. He felt helpless because there was absolutely nothing more he could do for him.
___Finally, the two runners arrived with the inevitable news that would rip out his very heart. He was the king but would have given his very life for his son. "O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you--O Absalom, my son, my son" (v. 33)!
___Helpful guidance
___One of the most heart-wrenching tasks in the world is that of consoling a parent who has lost a child. Over my years of serving in denominational and pastoral ministries, I have had to call on many families in crises. It took weeks and months for me to recover from the experience of walking with them through their pain and misfortune. Words are inadequate to describe the ordeal ministers go through in crisis counseling.
___However, Joab showed no signs of remorse over what he had done. He saw things from a worldly point of view. To him it was simple--kill or be killed. He decided to save the king's life and his by making sure Absalom received what he deserved.
___But the king's heart was wrapped up in the life of his son. He wept that day so loudly "the men stole into the city that day as men steal in who are ashamed when they flee from battle" (v. 3).
___Joab took on the task of confronting David with his responsibility as king. He showed complete disregard for his grief. As gruff as his tactics were, David realized there was logic in Joab's confrontation. If the king did not act responsibly as the leader, "Not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come upon you from your youth till now" (v. 7).
___Questions for discussion
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