August 19, 2002
Touched by adoption, Sherman couple
makes tracks with orphan shoes plan
___By John Hall
___Buckner News Services
___SHERMAN--Volunteers can travel overseas to deliver shoes collected through Buckner Orphan Care International's Shoes for Orphan Souls drive and see the plight of children there, but Deneé and Mark Frazer don't need to travel that far.
___They see a reminder of that plight every day in their home, but they also realize the amazing joy of helping the needy.
___For years, the Frazer marriage was marked by fertility problems. She tried fertility drugs and underwent two surgeries to no avail. The lack of success began taking a toll on her physically as well as significantly affecting the couple emotionally.
___"It was to the point you couldn't look at children in the store. I was frustrated I couldn't give my spouse something she wanted," he said. "Everyonesays it's a great day when they tell you that you're pregnant. To know you've already had all those miscarriages, you put on a front of excitement, but in the back of your mind you're thinking, 'Here it goes again.'"
A BUCKNER volunteer places new shoes on a Romanian orphan.One memento of their trip is the ratty moccasin-like shoes that inadequately covered Angelica's feet at the orphanage.
___The final straw came as Mrs. Frazer terminated a life-threatening tubular pregnancy on her birthday. Tormented in the wake of such a painful incident, her husband asked her a question that changed their lives: "Do you want to be a mother of your children or do you just want to be a mother?"
___From that conversation, the Frazers began exploring adoption but soon discovered it would be difficult to adopt a baby in the United States because they were over 40. Their age made them ideal candidates to adopt a Chinese baby, however. Chinese adoption providers prefer older, more stable families for their infants. Despite the financial rigors of adoption, the couple worked their way through the 13-month process.
___Finally, they traveled to China, where they were confronted by unbelievable conditions in an orphanage. There was no central heat or air conditioning for the children. The children wore patched clothes and jackets stuffed with paper to keep them warm. And they wore paper-thin cloth shoes with gaping holes.
___"We have never seen anything like the devastation over there," Mrs. Frazer said.
___The couple returned home with an answered prayer and a memory. Their answered prayer came in the form of 7-month-old Angelica, who Frazer said he "could not love anymore if I birthed her myself." As proud parents, pictures of their daughter cover office walls and fill billfolds. Both struggle to tell Angelica's story without crying.
___The other memento of their trip is the ratty moccasin-like shoes that inadequately covered Angelica's feet at the orphanage. They serve not only as a reminder of the humbling conditions from which Angelica came, but the dire need for helping foreign orphans.
___The Frazers, members of Fairview Baptist Church in Sherman, wanted to do something to help children in foreign orphanages, but nothing they could do seemed to satisfy their longing. Then in 1999, they discovered Shoes for Orphan Souls, a shoe drive for orphans sponsored by Buckner International Services.
___The couple spent a weekend in front of a K-mart telling their story and collecting about 125 pairs of shoes.
___After a successful second-year effort, Frazer, an investment banker, realized he could do more.
___The Frazers discovered other groups in town, including First Baptist Church and Cavalry Baptist Church in Sherman, were participating in the shoe drive. They began to work to include other groups such as the Kiwanis Club of Sherman. To help publicize the drive, the Frazers began "Make a Difference in the World" week at the local mall.
___Every store in the mall has assisted their effort in some way, whether by hanging posters, donating supplies or giving shoes. Companies as large as national chains and as small as locally owned stores have hopped on the bandwagon. Simon Properties, owners of the mall, wants to take the program to its 200 malls across the nation.
___The simplicity of the Shoes for Orphan Souls program continues to work in Sherman, where the Frazers already had doubled their collected shoes before a kick-off party at the mall. The community's response has overwhelmed the Frazers.
___"They want to help," said Mrs. Frazer, an account executive at a television station in Sherman. "Working with news people all the time, everything we deal with is bad news. We get tired of hearing the bad stuff. As a Christian, I want to hear the good. You need to hear the good to do good."
___"That's the Christ Spirit in all of us," her husband said. "When you contact it, you want more. I want them to feel that."
___The Frazers' commitment to Shoes for Orphan Souls is an example to others about the effect two people can have, said Jackie Thornton, director of development and community relations at Buckner. "We strive to make a difference in the lives of children, and Deneé and Mark are helping us do that one child, one shoe at a time."
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