January 20, 2003
DOWN HOME:
What's worse-- fat or the labels?
___The radio correspondent probably thought this was just a job--reporting the latest story about a minor skirmish at the U.S. Food & Drug Administration. Another battle over those ever-present labels on food packages.
___(By the way, don't you wish "they" never invented those food-content labels? Somebody whose mama made her eat all her Brussels sprouts must've made up the rule about food-content labels. You can just imagine how she filled out the box marked"career goal" on one of those vocational aptitude tests kids take in high school: "I want to one day take all the fun out of eating for every man, woman and child in America." Bless her heart, she's on her way.)
MARV KNOX
Editor
___Anyway, where were we? The report on the latest proposed food-content label.
___Seems that someone at the FDA thinks the labels should say more than how many servings are in the package and how much sugar, salt, protein and fat grams are contained in each serving. Someone wants to add a warning telling Americans they should eat as little of something called "trans fat" as possible.
___Did you know you've been eating trans fat? Neither did I. Never drove up to a fast-food microphone and yelled, "I'll have an order of trans fat, with iced tea and small fries."
___The radio reporter started talking about how you might eat "trans fat," which apparently develops when certain vegetable oils heat and then cool down into solids. The reporter started in on a list of foods that contain "trans fat." It went like this: "blah, blah, blah, tortilla chips, blah, blah, blah, blah."
___I don't know about you, but "blah, blah, blah" doesn't tempt me in the least. But I've got a thing for tortilla chips. Mostly because I don't like to eat salsa with my fingers.
___Someone wants to write, "'Trans fat' will kill you" on the side of my tortilla chip bag, as if I were sneaking out to the alley to puff a cigarette. This person doesn't know the Four Basic Food Groups are meats, breads, fruit/vegetables and Tex-Mex.
___As if to cheer up the listening public, the radio reporter went on to say that some other spoil-sports at the FDA want to add a note to all food-content labels that says, "Don't eat any fat, whatsoever, or we'll hunt you down and hit you with hamhocks until you repent and promise to eat tofu for breakfast for the rest of your life."
___All my life, I've been a Baptist. And all my life, I've been told, "Baptists don't smoke and drink." But, boy, could we eat--fried chicken, lemon meringue pie, brisket, enchiladas, chicken-fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, and chips and salsa.
___The Bible says our bodies are temples of the Lord, and we should take care of them. For most of my life, I've told myself I like to run. But mostly, I guess, I like to think I can get by with sneaking a few chips into my "temple."
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